


Colours.

by TooAceForThisShit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Character, Tsukishima Kei is a Dork, Tsukishima is also still salty, Yamaguchi has anxiety, a blind au nobody really needed, i cant, mtf, no smut in this because, trans original character, yams is blind, yams was also an artist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 28,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11844123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooAceForThisShit/pseuds/TooAceForThisShit
Summary: Yamaguchi Tadashi is an artist, well he was, now he's blind. And his mother's a little crazy, and his father ran off with some girl.Tsukishima is pissed, he has to spend all of his summer taking care of one of his mom's friend's disabled son, at least he's away from home when his brother is on break.





	1. Noises, and deathly quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what this is I just opened up a Word document and boom here we are.

"You need someone to take care of you, I don't care if you think you can do it by yourself or not, you're blind this is how it should be." Her voice filled with distaste and hatred. "I need to find someone this week, we're leaving this weekend, of course, you had to go and make Aina quit!" My mother's voice rings out, her tapping angrily on her laptop. 

"This is the sixth one this year. I swear to God, that this will be the last." She mumbles under her breath. 

She wasn't always like this, but I guess having a kid like me drives you up the wall after a while. 

I don't respond to her, knowing I'll just make things worse. 

I haven't been helpful since I lost my eyesight. I've only gotten in the way. Or that's what I've been told. I wasn't even that good with my eyesight. 

It hadn't gotten better when he left either, it had all blown up in my face. 

I rub my hands on my knees quietly praying she'd leave the room, or I could leave. Yelling never helped. 

She never really helped though, her voice always traveled too good, either if were separated by rooms her voice always found a way to my ears. 

"I have to make a few calls, don't leave this room Tadashi," She warns, her heels clicking on the way to the kitchen. 

It's not like I could even if I wanted to mother. 

I stay where I am not daring to move even an inch, the only sound in the room is the quieter rumble of my mother's voice. 

She sounds stressed, I can tell from the sound of her voice she's venting to one of her friends yet again. Something about how I can't be left alone, but I can't go with her either. 

"I just don't understand him, he never talks, he just sits there, saying and doing nothing! I wish he'd get mad and yell or something," 

I may be sightless but I still hear perfectly mother. 

"No, I can't find his father anywhere, I swear after the divorce he disappeared," She states, sounding calmer than before, her voice trails off when she leaves the kitchen for her room.

I stay in the small living room still not knowing my way around the house after we moved, we did live in a decently big house before my parents split, now we live in a small apartment with an almost always broken elevator. 

I relax a little though from her locked in her room. I rest my head on the back of the couch. trying to see through the blackness everything now. I remember colours, I remember being in love with them, the way the flow and change into one another. 

I never liked the dark much, the shade or the blackness of my bedroom at night. 

Now it was a constant, everywhere I turned my head, it felt as if I was being followed by my worst nightmare. 

I haven't left here in months, I can't remember what it's like to have grass under my feet. 

When I hear the clicking of my mother's heels once more, I sit up straight, staring at where the noise is coming from. 

"I've found someone, know let's get you ready for bed, so I can relax." She finishes I hear her kicking off her shoes. 

A hand around my wrist a moment later, being pulled to my feet. 

We walk a little. "We're at the stairs," She said softly, her voice now in her nighttime pitch. 

I follow her blindly up the stairs, gripping tightly on the railing. 

She's now humming under her breath as we walk. Her humming helping slightly. 

"Landing,"

I nod to myself, stepping up once more. 

I hear the soft click of a door opening. "We're in the bathroom," She lets me go handing me a toothbrush a second later. 

"The person who's going to take care of you is one of my friend's son's, it's not ideal, but it'll have to do," She states. "But I really need this, if I get this job we can move there. It'll take months but it's going to be worth it," 

I nod hoping that's enough. 

My hand resting on the cool sink, I finish brushing, her taking my wrist once more leading me down the hall, not saying anything. It's calm. It's too calm for her. She's of, course, got a lot on her mind. 

I feel the softness of carpet under my feet, meaning we've made it to my room. She leads me closer to where I assume my bed is. Letting me go once more so I can sit. 

"I would normally send you to your father's but no, he had to go and run off with some girl.” She mutters to herself. The clicking of the door closing behind her as she leaves. 

I sit there a moment longer, lying down a minute later. I close my eyes. 

Thinking this time when I open my eyes, everything will blossom into colour. Crossing my fingers, praying to a God I never believed in. Anything to see, anything to create again. 

I open them once more, I blink a few more times, hoping it worked. 

I always get sad when it doesn’t, but I should be used to that by now. 

<\----------------------------------->

The last week of my mother taking “care” of me went by in a blink of an eye. 

Right now I’m seated on the couch next to said mother, I tell she’s anxious (Something I sadly get from her,) from the air of the room and the tapping of her heels. She keeps mumbling under her breath about how she’s going to be late. 

I reach out for her, finding her hand somehow, taking it in mine to try and calm her down. And hopefully sending a reassuring smile her way. 

I wish I could say I’m going to miss her, but some part of me still blames her. 

Her mumbles grow quieter into nothing a minute later. “He’s going to make me late,” 

“Then just go,” I said quietly, my voice coming out too soft and shaky from months without use. 

She doesn’t say anything, “I guess, I’ll have to,” She continues a while later. 

She releases my hand, “I’ll leave the key under the matt and message Chouko,” She states, kissing my forehead quickly in goodbye, I hear the rolling of her suitcase and tapping of her shoes on the hardwood. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Remeber use your words,” She said, the shuffling of her putting on her coat than opening the door. “Goodbye, dear,” She said, closing the door with a slam as she leaves. 

I sit there in the dark, alone. The apartment now deathly quiet. 

I sigh, thinking of all the times this happened before, all the times I was left alone in the dark, even before the accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr: https://ultra-tooaceforthisshit.tumblr.com/


	2. Silence and fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm amazed so many people commented on the first chapter! you're all honestly too sweet!~ 
> 
>  
> 
> This isn't as long as I wanted this chapter to be, but I think it turned out pretty well for once again something I started at ten at night. Lmao, it's now one AM.

It felt like forever before I heard the jingle of the lock, it probably wasn't as long as it seemed, but when you don't have anything to do but title your thumbs it felt like hours. 

The sound itself startled me, thinking someone was breaking in, but remember a moment later that this is probably the boy who was going to be looking after me for these long months my mother was away. 

I hear shuffling in the other room, you'd think they'd be like, 'I'm here,' or something, seeing as I can't fricking see him. 

I move my head to the general direction of the noise. Hoping to see any indication as to what the person looks like. For course everything as normal is pitch black. 

It's too quiet, I almost want to say something just to make sure it's not the trick of the mind. I don't because in that moment I feel the couch dip a bit beside me. 

I feel a light breeze as if someone waved their hand in front of my face. My nose scrunching up a bit.

"So you're Junko-san's son?" Said a deep bored sounding voice. He sounding uninterested in the answer. I nodded my head numbly. Who else would I be though, unless there's another teenager who's disabled in my house, I don't know about. 

"She didn't tell me you were blind." He continues still sounding uninterested. 

I wave a hand in front of my face, in my way of saying well I am. 

"She didn't say you were also mute though," I hear the sound of a zipper a second later, making me jump. "Or this jumpy." I can hear him rolling his eyes for his tone of voice. 

What a lovely person you left me with mom. 

I shrug. 

He didn't say anything after that, I felt the couch dip again when he stood. 

After that it was quiet again I felt alone. I stood up myself, standing in the center of the living room, not knowing where to go. I knew if I went too far forward I'd hit the coffee table, and that would be trouble, I knew if I went right I could probably get to the stairs but that seemed scary. 

I wanted to leave the room, but I felt stuck, I didn't want to bother the boy, so I sat down again. Feeling dumb for even trying to figure out how to get around my own house. 

I lied down on the couch. 

I knew my mother was going to call me tomorrow, but I still didn't really want to talk to her, I knew she'd yell if I didn't though, and since I talked to her before she'd left she'll want more from me. 

I didn't miss her, but now that she was gone I felt more alone than ever. Even if there were a stranger in our house. I had forgotten what a home felt like long before I was blind. But this was new, the numbing feeling of being lost, and not being able to move without hurting myself. 

The only thing I had going for me before was my art, now there was nothing, I was nothing. Just a blind boy who couldn't even move. 

"Are you just going to lay there?" Comes the bored voice again. 

I don't move or respond. 

"Come to the kitchen," 

I shake my head. 

"Do you not know the way around your own house?" He asked sound slightly pissed. 

I nodded. Closing my sightless eyes tightly. 

"Of course,"I hear him mumble to himself. 

I feel a soft touch around my wrist, and being pulled into a sitting position. He helps me up, then leads me silently to the kitchen.

He lets go of me, followed by the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor making me cringe. Then there's the same soft touch on my wrist, and being sat down in a seat. 

There's the sound of dishes being placed and another chair being pulled out, from the sounds of it he's now sitting down across from me. 

"Don't tell me I need to feed you too?" He starts. I shake my head. "Good," He states, putting a fork in my hand. 

I run my fingers over the points for a minute, he takes my other wrist placing it on the side of a plate. I nod in thanks. 

We eat in silence, the food wasn't bad either, he seemed to be an okay cook. But then again I didn't know if it actually looked good. So, the taste was all I was going from. 

Once we were done, he leads me back to the living room, asking if I wanted anything. I shook my head no. Sighing when he finally left the room again to clean. 

I still didn't know his name, he hadn't told me, and I didn't know how to ask now. I was hoping he'd introduce himself. 

I didn't know his mother's last name either seeing as my mom always called her by her first name: Chouko. and calling him by his mother's name wouldn't be the greatest idea. 

When he returned to where I was, he sat down beside me without saying anything. He did, however, turn on the tv, I could also hear the clicking of a keyboard though, coming from beside me. 

I didn't bother paying attention to either of the things he was doing, closing my eyes once more. It didn't make a difference to anything, but it was nice to have noise besides my mother's booming voice. Maybe I'd even be able to sleep. 

The tapping of his keyboard and the voices from the tv almost had me nodding off, but before I could I felt a tap on my leg. 

"Don't fall asleep," his voice came again, sounding calmer and less pissy, than when he first arrived. He also had that naturally bored sounding voice though.

I opened my eyes and stared at where I thought he was, hopefully creeping him out a little. 

"Don't glare at me," He muttered, the typing starting again a moment later. 

I shook my head and ran my fingers through my hair, it's not like there was much else I could do. 

<\---------------------------------->

Tsukishima's point of view. 

The very little information I had gotten about Yamaguchi was that he was the same age as me (Sixteen) Disabled and unable to take care of himself, and that his mother, my mom's best friend Junko was pretty much leaving him for months, with hardly any care, what so ever. 

It was also very last-minute when my mom had asked me it was at dinner and she had just gotten off the phone with Junko, she starting ranting about how she was leaving her poor son, for a job in Tokyo. That could not even work out. 

She normally never said anything about the way Junko lived her life because it really wasn't her business. So this was a big deal, I kind of wish I had been wearing headphones at the time so my dad wouldn't have volunteered me to take care of Junko's son. I would've still been here, but at least I wouldn't have to hear it happening. 

Once I had gotten to their apartment late of course because the stupid train decided today was the day to make everyone wait. I took the key from under that matt like Junko said, and unlocked the door. taking off my shoes and wandering into the living room area. 

Yamaguchi was sitting on the couch, dark brown hair sticking up in odd angles, eyes closed. He seemed almost asleep. freckles dusting his pale complexion. 

From the looks of him, there was nothing about him that gave way the reason he was taking care of him. When I dropped my bag on the group his head snapped in my direction. Eyes a glazed over greeny colour. 

I took a seat next to him waving a hand in front of his face, he didn't even seem fazed by it, his nose scrunching up cutely. 

Now sitting beside him tapping away on my laptop listening to the tv. I could tell he was bored but it was only four now, he was dozing off after a while. 

There isn't much he can do from the looks of things the apartment was bland and small even the bedroom I was staying seemed unused, and it wasn't even a guest room, it was Junko's room. 

He handed talked once since I was here, which was odd. But less noise to deal with was nice. 

Nothing annoying at least, he was too quiet to be annoying, it would probably get on my nerves later in the week when I need him to answer but for now, I enjoyed the lack of my brother, and family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! let me know if you liked Tsukishima's point of view, and if it's still interesting for you guys! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Also, let me know if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes to make it more enjoyable. 
> 
> come yell at me on Tumblr: https://ultra-tooaceforthisshit.tumblr.com/  
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	3. The normal, and the abnormal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me way too long to write, I wrote this in a few days which is sad. But hopefully, when life isn't kicking my ass, I'll have better and longer chapters. I don't know when the next update will be.

Yamaguchi

The first night was weird, first, he didn't know where anything was when he was helping me get ready to sleep. Not surprising, because my mom didn't get the chance to tell him. 

I've noticed that he swears a lot under his breath. I couldn't really help him find anything, I can hardly make it to my room without falling down the stairs though. 

I still haven't talked to him, he rarely talks to me, and when he does it to ask things he already knows or to make sly comments. 

He also talked to his mom, they talked for like five minutes and even at that it got some colourful words out of him. 

I lie awake that night thinking about how tomorrow will go, and the next few months. There's always a possibility of him quitting and my mom forced to come home to take care of her child. 

It's a sad truth, but a truth nonetheless. 

I roll onto my side, not knowing what to do with myself, at this moment or for the rest of my life. 

I lay there for I don't know how long, thinking everything. I do fall asleep at one point or another. 

\------>

I'm awoken by the sound of my door opening softly, jolting awake and sitting up in bed fast, that my head rushes a bit. I blink a few times. 

"Jesus fuck, you scared me," He said. 

I rub at eyes to get the sand out of them, I feel my bed dip at the end. "It's still early, you can sleep more if you wanted." He said in his normal uninterested voice.

I shake my head no. 

"Okay, get up then," He said, the bed dips as he gets up, I hear the sound of my closet opening a few seconds later.

"I'm guessing you can figure out which piece of clothing is which," He said dryly, the door closing a moment later.

I nod to myself, I can do this. 

I stand up, struggling a bit when my blanket almost trips me up. I balance myself before I manage to topple over. 

With little more struggle, I finish getting ready, I continue to sit on my bed feeling hopeless. Having to wait for him to come back in and get me. 

This is always the worst part of the day, the part where I have to wait until I can leave my own room when I need assistance to get dressed, go to the bathroom, eat food. Normal human things. 

Things I could do before. 

There's a light knock on the door, and it creaking open a moment later. "This is why you need to talk because I can't read your mind," He grumbles. 

There's pressure on my wrist a second later, then he's pulling me up, and down the hall. "Stairs," He mumbles. 

I nod. 

<\---->

Tsukishima

It's been almost a week since I've been here, and he still hasn't said a word. I was at first annoyed, now I'm kinda worried. 

His mother said it was normal for him not to talk. We also haven't left the apartment, I'm not sure what he's been doing these last few months because there's nothing here. His mom didn't say anything about things for him. 

She's called twice, both times he wouldn't talk, I've had to talk to her and explain things.

Today I decided though we're getting out, going for a walk, something simple. Just because I'll probably go crazy if I stay here for one more day. I'm not an outdoorsy person, but it's been of silence. 

It was late morning when I knocked on his bedroom door, not hearing a reply once again, I open the door peeking in. He's still fast asleep for once, normally every morning he'll sit up so fast I think he'll give himself whiplash. 

One of the first things I noticed about him, is that he normally dressed himself when his mom was still here, luckily I started picking things out so he wouldn't end up wearing colours that didn't go together or patterns that didn't fit. 

I take a few things out of his closet quietly. closing the closet door softly after, I put the clothes at the end of the bed, after that I take a seat on the ground beside the bed. 

He seems almost happier well sleeping. His eyes flutter, and close again a few times, almost as he's waiting for his eyes to adjust. 

"I'm here," I say loud enough so he's not startled. 

He raises an eyebrow for a moment, soon nodding his head and sitting up. 

"There are some clothes at the end of your bed, in the same order as yesterday. We're going out today as well," I stated leaving the room before he could protest, he most likely wouldn't. 

I stay in the hall texting my mom for ten minutes waiting until I think is a normal time to be done. 

Birth giver: How're things with Yamaguchi? 

Me: fine, he still hasn't talked to me. 

Birth giver: Oh, I'm sorry honey, did you interduce yourself and everything? 

I stand there a second staring at the text. Taping out a reply far too long after. 

Me: I think? 

Birth giver: I swear you and your brother are going to be the death of me. 

Me: Yeah, yeah. 

Putting my phone on silent I put it in my pocket, I knock on the door, opening it when I don't hear him yell at me, I step into the room as he pulls his shirt over his head. 

"You ready?" I asked, looking anywhere but him. 

I look at him when he doesn't speak up again, he shrugs. I take his wrist, leading him down the hall again, letting him know when we're at the stairs. 

I take him right into the kitchen, I take an apple for the both of us handing one to him. 

He holds it, rolling it the apple between his hands, he mouths apple and rubs it on his shirt. 

The more we eat together the more I notice him mouthing to himself, he seems to enjoy figuring out what things are. 

We finish our shitty breakfast, and I lead him into the door. I look at the shoe rack, trying to figure out which ones are his, there are other men's shoes on the rack. I thought it was weird when I had first arrived.

"Which ones are yours?" I ask looking up at him, he's shifting on his feet nervously. 

I look away when he doesn't give any hint, I grab some sneakers, hoping they're the right ones. 

I stand again, "Okay, can you put on your shoes? or?" I asked again, holding the pair of shoes with one hand, looking into his sightless eyes. 

He holds out both his hands, I stand there a moment confused, I hand him the shoes. 

He takes them running his hands over one of them. He shakes his head. And holds them out for me. 

"Wrong ones?" I asked feeling stupid. 

He nods. 

I put the shoes back on the rack grabbing, the next pair that are bright green shoes. I hand them to him. His fingers dance lightly over the laces. 

He nods, and almost smiles a little. The first smile since I got here. He sits down on the one step into the mudroom and starts putting them on. 

I roll my eyes, grabbing my shoes next and putting them on. 

"Do you have a cane," 

He shakes his head no but brings his hands up like he's putting on glasses.

"You have sun glasses?" 

He nods again. 

I grab the only part I see on the shelves above the shoe rack. 

I hand them to him, he puts them on. 

I take his wrist once more, locking the door behind us. I'm not looking forward to taking a blind person down three flights of stairs, but at least it beats sitting on the couch in a depressing apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please picture the ugliest pair of green shoes you can think of thanks. 
> 
> Also, I'm sorry if they're not spot on, or if it's annoying to not have Yamaguchi talk, but I think I have a plan. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! and please let know if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes because I'm posting this half asleep. 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	4. Panic, and the calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This boy is back! I finally got onto my computer thanks to my dad. I was worried for a while that I'd have to reput windows seven on losing everything I have written this year, but thankfully I didn't.  
> Anywho, I should be back to posting, since I lost five days of writing this. So sorry, again.

Yamaguchi

The stairs were the worst part of the day, being able to go to the park, kind of made up for it. 

The boy had decided that it would be less weird looking if we held hands than someone dragging someone by the wrist everywhere.

I didn't mind, I wasn't really paying attention to him anyway.  
I hadn't left the apartment in months. It felt weird to hear everyone not muffled by the building. 

It was almost too much, the cars, the wind blowing, the kids screaming. 

We were still walking I don't know where to. He hadn't said. He's not very good at communication, not that I'm one to complain. The first thing I said to my mother in months was leave.

I wanted to ask him, but I felt like it wouldn't be a good idea. 

He stops suddenly making me run into him. 

He sighs, "We're at a bench." He said sounding more pissed than his normal. 

I nod to myself, letting go of his hand and finding the seat myself. 

It's quiet once more, the birds chirping, kids laughing, leaves ruffling. 

I feel like the right thing to do would break the silence. I had never been all that great with starting conversions or even talking when people starting conversations with me. 

My mother made sure to remind me of that. My father couldn't care less, he'd just smile and pat my back. 

He was warm. 

"Tsukishima," The boy blurts out beside me. 

I turn my head to where the voice is coming from raising an eyebrow. 

It clicks a moment later, it's his name. I repeat it a few times, and even mouth it. Turning my head away from him once more.

Tsukishima. 

Shima. 

Tsuki.

I smile a little, finally having the name to the voice, and the soft hands. 

<\------------>

Tsukishima

The way his face lit up in a pleased way after his confusion was little but bigger than anything he had done. 

The smile was small but sweet, the light blush on his cheeks made him even more so looking like a strawberry. 

I had rolled my eyes and looked away at the time. 

We stayed there for a few hours, him just sitting there shuffling his feet every once in awhile. We left when he pulled on my shelves. 

I didn't bother trying to hold his hand again, I let him continue holding on to my sweatshirt though. Walking slowly through the park as we made our way back. 

He stops suddenly, covering his ears. 

I was confused for a moment, looking around, everything was the same as before. 

I dig around in my pockets looking for my phone with my headphones connected to them. 

I find my phone in my back pocket. I take it out unwrapping the headphones around my phone. 

I put on calming music. Yamaguchi at that point is folded in on himself in front of me covering his ears. 

I turn the sound up, crouching in front of him, I take one of his hands away from his ears putting an earbud in right away so he doesn't go in on himself more. 

I do the same for the other side with less resistance. 

Once the earbuds are in. I take his hand once more walking faster to leave the park but not too fast so he doesn't run into anything. 

 

When we're safely back in the apartment door locked behind us once more, shoes thrown about. 

I lead him back into the living room to the couch, sitting him down. His eyes are puffy and slightly red around them. 

I leave him with my phone going into the kitchen where the home phone is. I pick it up dialing Yamaguchi's mother's phone number. 

It rings twice going to voicemail, I roll my eyes.

"Hi, this is Junko Yamaguchi please leave a voicemail!" Her voice rings out too loud. 

I hang up again, dialing my mom's phone number. 

She picks up right away. "Kei! Hi sweetie," 

"Hi, mom. Junko's not picking up and I need her help," 

"Oh, sweetie what happened?" She said, her voice going down in pitch. 

"We were out, and I don't know the noises got to him, and I don't know what to do," I explain feeling stupid, I start rolling an apple around on the counter absentmindedly. 

"I'll be over in a few," She states having already made her mind up, she hangs up before I can protest. 

I put the phone back on the stand with too much force.

I wish she'd just tell me what to do. 

I head back into the living room, Yamaguchi's still on the couch with my headphones in, knees brought up to his chest almost to protect himself. 

I silently sit down beside him, a fair amount from him. I sigh fixing my glasses. 

"Fuck," I mutter to myself. Leaning my head back on the couch staring at the ceiling. 

Twenty minutes later there's a knock on the door, I get up with a few more colourful words leaving my mouth. Opening the door to my worried mother. 

She hugs me, I pat her back halfheartedly. 

She releases me, walking right past me into the living room then the kitchen. I follow behind dragging my feet, taking a seat at the table. 

Mom continues to go through cabinets. 

I roll my eyes at her. "What are you looking for?" I asked running a hand through my hair. 

"Something Junko said would help when he gets panicky," She groans living the kitchen, her feet tapping on the stairs by the kitchen. 

I head back into the living room, wounding if Yamaguchi even knows if my moms here, probably not because the headphones are still in, and he holding his legs so tightly that his knuckles turned white. 

My mom walks into the living room once more, holding a blanket, she places it on the couch near me and heads back into the kitchen. 

I sigh, getting up and going back into the kitchen, she moves too fast for a forty-something lady. 

I lean on the doorframe as she waits for water to boil. 

"How are things going with him?" She asks, sounding calmer than on the phone. 

I shrug, "He doesn't talk," 

Mom sighs, "I was hoping he'd talk to you, Junko said he stopped talking almost a year ago, she has no clue why, and the last time he talked to her was before she left telling her to leave." 

"Why would you think he'd talk with me? because I'm also an angsty teen?" I questioned raising my eyebrow. 

She rolls her eyes at me, "No, I thought he'd feel comfortable with you, as much as I love Junko she's rarely there for Tadashi, especially after the divorce," 

"Well, there isn't much I can do when I have one-sided conversations," I said letting the annoyance of the last few days into my voice. 

"Kei, you'll figure it out you always do," She said pouring water into a mug. 

"How's Akiteru?" I asked to change the subject, I could care less. But I can't think of anything else. 

"Oh," She gasped surprised slightly."He's doing well, he said he wished you were home, but glad you had a job for the summer. He said though he remembered Yamaguchi from the few times you guys played together when you were younger," She chirps happily. 

I stand there for a moment going through everything I remember from my childhood. "I don't," 

"Of course not, you were maybe two at the time. Junko stopped bringing him over a while after you both turned three, saying his father was taking him for the day whenever I asked." She said rather sadly ending. 

"Yamaguchi was always hard for her to deal with though," She sighed, looking out of the window for a minute lost in thought. 

"She sounds like a shitty mother to me," I mutter, my mom continues what she was doing, either missing what I said or not daring to say more. 

She snaps out of that rather fast, "Okay, this is just tea, and the blanket is weighted to make him feel safer." She started, turning around and handing me the cup, she gestures at the living room with her head. I roll my eyes but lead the way back in. 

I set the mug down on the coffee table, and sit down beside him, he's still sitting the same way as before, knees brought up to his chest, face hiding in his knees, the headphones still in. 

My mom glares at me lightly, I roll my eyes yet again. Tapping Yamaguchi on the shoulder, his head snaps up right away causing one of the earbuds to fall from his ear. 

Mom crouches down in front of him. Calmly she starts talking to him. "Hi, Yamaguchi. I'm your mom's friend and Kei's mom. I made you some tea and got you your blanket to help you out," Her voice never wavering. She smiles warmly even though he can't see her. 

Yamaguchi nods slowly. 

My mom's face lights up, taking the cup from the coffee table, she takes one of Yamaguchi's hands and hands him the mug. "Hold it with both hands so you don't drop it now," She said, her voice warm and welcoming. 

She's the total opposite from Junko in every way when it comes to parenting. 

"Kei, pass me the blanket, will you?" She asks me, switching her gaze from Yamaguchi to me. 

I grab the blanket from the armrest beside me and giving it to her. She smiles at me in thanks. 

"Okay, Tadashi I'm going to put the blanket around you," She states, standing up and wrapping it around his shoulders. She messes up Yamaguchi's hair after. Leaving the room a moment later, saying she'll make dinner tonight and leave after that. 

I thank her. I stare at the wall a minute. I should say something to him, but there's nothing I can think of. He's still using my headphones, I don't mind much though because he seems content, sitting and listening to the calming music. 

I'm glad I could help even a little, I glance at him through the corner of my eye, he's taking slow sips from his tea, steam rising from the top. 

He's not as panicky as at the park. I sigh standing. Next time we go out this won't happen, I'll try and keep a better eye on him. 

I head into the kitchen to help my mother. Taking my mind off of the call that's going to come later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be longer and better.  
> I thinking of changing it to a different point of few instead of first person, but I haven't made up my mind yet, I can write in third person. What do you guys think of this? 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading and sticking with my stupidity. 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	5. Surprise bitch you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am once more with a not very long chapter, I keep promising that the next one will be longer. Next chapter will be though! But I think this chapter is pretty good, even though my dad kicked up out of my room to work on my closet, so I had to finish this on my laptop. But anywho, it's here and it's as good as it will probably get.

Yamaguchi 

 

It had been a few days since I left the apartment with Tsukishima. Some part of me was glad that we hadn't gone out in the last few days. I had my fair share of people for the week, even if it had been months since I was last outside. 

My mother hadn't called that night, after my panicking. I was happy she hadn't, but I was also pissed she didn't care enough. 

She is all I have left, as sad as that was to think. She may have brought me into this world but as far as I'm concerned she could've left right after. 

Maybe, then I wouldn't be blind. I could've left with my father that night a year ago, and never looked back, never thought of the woman who married my father the first time. 

I was sat on the couch like normal, early afternoon, Tsukishima sitting beside me tapping away on his laptop, the tv playing as background noise to my fingers twitling. 

Something on the coffee table starts buzzing and startles me followed by the robotic voice of my phone going, "Mom, mom--" It gets cut off after Tsukishima curses a few times and answers. 

"Hello," He greeted in his normal bored voice. I hear the shuffling of him putting his laptop on the coffee table and his footsteps to the kitchen. 

One of the bad things about living with Tsukishima is that he's too quiet, unlike my mother. I never know where he is, his voice doesn't travel well, before I wanted the quiet and I still do, but at least with my mother I knew where she was in the house, whether it was her heels giving her away or her off-tune singing, or her chatting to people on the phone. 

I pretty much always could find her. Even when I didn't want to. 

The phone call didn't last long, Tsukishima was back in the room putting my phone on the coffee. He was still muttering words under his breath. 

He cleared his throat, "She wants to talk to you tonight," He said, going back to typing on his computer. "I said you wouldn't talk to her," He finished. 

I nodded my head, leaning it back on the couch, and closing my eyes. 

\-->  
Tsukishima. 

 

The call with Yamaguchi's mother didn't start well or end well. 

She was a snappy woman, to begin with, but when it came to things with her son, she either didn't care or cared too much about stupid things. 

She had asked to talk Yamaguchi but being with him for a little longer than a week, I could tell you on the first day he wouldn't have talked to her. 

Yamaguchi still wouldn't even talk to me, and it's going to be no different from his mother. I may not be the warmest person, but I still liked to think I was a better person than the woman who left her blind son with a total stranger. 

After he calmed down yesterday he ate then fell asleep on the couch, he slept there the whole night, as far as I know, he wouldn't wake up when I tried to help him to his room. 

I slept on the floor, woke up early and made breakfast for the two of us. 

He still hasn't talked or even made a noise. 

It's weirding me out, but it's better someone who never shuts up. I started turning the tv on one of the music channels he seems to enjoy that more the narrated tv. Sometimes I'll catch him mouthing the lyrics to himself. 

My mother told me she'd stop by later today with my brother, which I'm dreading I told her she didn't have to come back two days in a row. That didn't work of course because once she's made up her mind that's what's happening. 

She also said she wanted to get dad to come with her, but she said that probably would be too crowded for Yamaguchi, but she'd get him to call me later in the week. 

I had told Yamaguchi about it he just furrowed his brows a moment then nodded. 

He doesn't have an opinion about a lot, but if you're doing the whole mute thing. 

There was a knock on the door, making Yamaguchi jump and me roll my eyes. I sigh yet again, standing and trying to make my neck less stiff. 

I unlock the door, opening it to find my mother and my brother. I make eye contact with my mom than my brother, I sigh leaving the door open and walking back into the living room. 

"Love you too!" My brother yells after me. Ignoring them both, I sit back down on the couch taking my laptop from the coffee table once more. 

They both come into the room talking quietly to each other. Mom takes a seat on one of the chairs well, my brother sits in the chair closest to me. 

"Ah, Yamaguchi. I remember when you were little and walked into one of our walls." Akiteru said, with a slight smile looking Yamaguchi up and down. 

I rolled my eyes, "He doesn't talk," I said, typing back a response to a friend from my history class. 

Akiteru nods, "I know, thought I'd get lucky though. Maybe, he just hasn't talked you because you're always so salty." Akiteru said, with a laugh. 

"Akiteru, your brother is just fine, and he's right Yamaguchi hasn't talked in months." My mom scolds. Sparing a glance at Yamaguchi who's stayed the same way since they entered the house. 

"He is not just fine, he hissed at me last year when I came home," Akiteru whines. 

I roll eyes yet again, I swear one of these days they'll just roll right out of my head. 

\-->  
Yamaguchi 

The talking put my mind off of worrying, I didn't mind much when they talked. Tsukishima seems to have something against his brother. Tsukishima rubs him the wrong way of some sort. I don't mind their mother though, I don't remember her from when I was little but she seems nice and warm, she also is funny at times. 

Unlike my always stock cold mother. She rarely had her moments of warmness. 

The talking continues for a long, I space out, but I enjoy the mutters of their quiet conversions and the feel of other people in the house. 

Tsukishima leaves the room at some point to make tea. Probably to also get away from his brother. 

His brother follows after him a minute later, muttering something about talking to Tsukishima about this. 

Whatever, this is. 

"So," Started their mother, whose name I'm blanking on."How are things with Kei?" She asked. 

I sit there a second lost, Kei's Tsukishima. I shrug. 

"That good huh?"She said with a little laugh."I know Junko was iffy with leaving you here with Kei, she never understood teenagers though." She finished thoughtfully. 

I want to ask more about when her and my mother were teenagers. I want to know why my mother is always so cold. 

I don't of course. 

She sighed. "She said you talked to her before she left. I was so happy for her, I get why you don't want to talk though," She mumbled rather sadly. 

The boys returned not much later not talking to each other, I felt someone tap my wrist than put my hand around a mug. 

I nodded my head in thanks to the diction of the person, I hope. 

The talking resumes after that. I space out once more, taking sips of my strawberry tea. They left awhile later it seemed the brothers were talking even less than when he arrived. 

Either things got worse between them or they had nothing more to talk about. Or both. Their mom didn't seem too pleased by that.

Tsukishima went back to typing on his computer once they were gone, he didn't talk again until probably late, mutter something along the lines I'll make dinner and leaving the room the music was still on thankfully. I couldn't stand sitting in the quiet like how it was before. Things seemed lighter now that my mother was gone, less forced. Less anxiety. 

Today the music choice was piano music, I liked this sometimes we'd listen to more upbeat things, it switched a lot. The day I panicked the first thing Tsukishima did was play piano music to calm me down. I couldn`t really tell when a new song began but it was relaxing. 

Tsukishima would also some nights put music on in my room quietly. I think he caught on that I didn`t sleep much, he never says much about the things he does, he just does them. 

We soon eat in complete silence, it`s not uncomfortable, it`s just silence. After that, we moved back into the living room, Tsukishima put back on the music, this time it was alt-rock music, a big difference from the softer tunes of earlier.

I could hear Tsukishima yawn every few minutes, not long after he let out a string of curse words, his laptop closing a moment later, the music stopped after, he then took my hand in his lightly pulling me up from the couch and towards the stairs I assumed. 

"Stairs," He mumbled. 

We were soon in the bathroom brushing our teeth, him standing beside me doing the same, he didn't utter another word after that, he led me into my room silently. Turning on the music, he then left. Leaving me alone once more, sometimes I wish I could stop everything and disappear, things would be simpler. I shouldn't be feeling lonely now, I shouldn't. I don't want to anymore. 

I stayed awake for I don't know how long before I finally passed out. 

\-->

Tsukishima 

The next morning was the same as the other mornings, I woke Yamaguchi up found him clothes took him into the bathroom, helped him down the stairs, putting on music, taking him into the kitchen to find something to eat, we'd probably have to go out and get more food today, seeing as there was nothing but cereal. 

 

We sat there eating dry cereal. I feel half asleep in the summer I'm never awake before noon, so now normally waking up at eight felt like I was cheating. 

 

After I finished my food I got up putting it in the dishwasher, I stood there a second after having a staring contest with the coffee maker and the lack of coffee in the house. 

 

I get snapped out of my staring contest when I hear a squeak and a thump, I turn around quickly to find Yamaguchi on the floor, he didn't get very far from the table he tripped on one of the chairs. 

I rush over to where he realizing that that is, in fact, a blind teenager on the floor, the blind teenager that I'm helping. "You idiot," 

I take both of his hands hauling him to his feet once more. 

"Sorry," He mutters, voice rough, almost too quiet to hear at all. 

I stand there a second, shocked I let go of his hands and he falls again. 

"Shit,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ill come back when i remember how to make the words go,,,,love you all 
> 
>  
> 
> Until i cna make thwo rds go-tooassfor this shi.


	6. Warmth, and the outside world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so happy!! I finally got to seventy kudos, thank you so much!!~

Yamaguchi

Tsukishima seemed to be at a loss for words as he helped me off the floor, and to the living room to lie down. Him taking a seat at the at the end of the couch making it dip. 

“What,” He managed to get out after ten minutes or so. 

I raised my eyebrow, not sure if I should speak up at all and just let him work through everything on his own. 

I wanted to speak up and say something about him only having that to say after he dropped me on the floor but now didn’t feel like the best time to be sassy. 

“Well, now I know you’re not mute---” Tsukishima gets cut off from the phone ringing he swears under his breath. The couch dips again as he leaves. 

The call could very well be my mother calling to check up even if she doesn’t really care, she probably only calls to make sure nothing in the apartment was wrecked. Or I could be bitter, it could be that too. 

Tsukishima doesn’t come back into the room for a while long enough for me to get bored of the pop music playing softly in the back around. I never enjoyed pop music much, I listened to heavy metal and such when I painted, piano music when I did homework and such though. 

I sit up after awhile, getting bored of lying and listening to the music. I want to leave the room but there’s nothing I could do anywhere else. 

I hear the beep of the phone when Tsukishima hangs up the phone, and the dialing of another number, I was hoping he’d come back into the room.

There would be nothing I could say to him, but at least I wouldn’t be alone. 

Tsukishima’s voice is so quiet, it’s not gentle or scared. It’s almost calm and annoyed all the time. 

He comes back into the room awhile later, sighing loudly, the couch dips when he sits back down. 

“Your mom wanted to talk to you,” He mutters. 

I shake my head, “Wh--at did you say to her?” I ask voice raspy and odd still. 

It’s silent for a few seconds, I start playing with my hands while I wait. 

Tsukishima cleared his throat, “I told her you still haven’t talked and hung up,” 

I smile a little at that. 

“She called back after, but I didn’t answer.” 

I nodded slowly to that. 

The tapping of Tsukishima’s keyboard filled the room again today, the music an afterthought to everything that happened. 

I talked, and it wasn’t hard. It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be, sure Tsukishima was still odd, but he always is. His typing ends not too soon after it started, I hear him close his laptop and leave the room almost silently. If he hadn’t run into a wall. 

He swears. I lay there, closing my eyes wishing I could go back in time before I was stuck in a house with a strange boy who swears too much but is slightly charming. 

The best part of Tsukishima being here is not talking to my mother, the anxiety that came with living with her, was too much all the time. 

“We’re leaving the house, here’s your headphones, the music is already turned down so you can still hear me,” He stated when he returned startling me. 

He helps me off the couch, and leads to me away, once we’re in the mudroom, he hands me his shoes, I sit down on the step, wincing a little from the bruise. Having a little trouble tying the shoes, I tie them in what I think is a bow and stand putting the headphones in, light piano music already playing. 

Tsukishima takes my hand leading me out of the house, he doesn’t say anything on the walk only that we’re going to start to going down the stairs. 

I almost trip a few times, but how fast he walks.  
The Wind rushes in as soon as we step outside, my hair whips around.

 

Tsukishima 

I did a few stupid things today, one dropping someone on the floor, hanging up on that someone’s mom, and calling the wrong number trying to call my own mother. 

I didn’t know what to do today, we’d been pretty anti-social lately, and I needed to get out before I lost it. 

I wish Yamaguchi’s mom would just give up already she seemed like that type of person, she was trying but Yamaguchi was sick of it, and so was I. Not that, that took much work though. 

I was glad he was talking again, the music always helped to liven the place up but now having an actual person that talked was nice. 

His voice was soft and gentle the upset of my ruff weird voice. It was nice but shocking. I wasn’t expecting him to talk at all when I was here, but I guess life is full of surprises. Fucking Christ I’m starting to sound like my mom. 

We walked down the street, getting stared at for our linked hands, what the hell was I supposed to do though, holding onto his shoulders and lead him around like some asshole. My glaring at them got them to look away quickly. 

People from school have been messaging me all month saying how we should meet up, I didn’t tell anyone what I’d be doing the whole summer, not that they would even understand. 

It was warm out today, not too hot or too cold the perfect day to leave the house, we walked in silence like normal. When we were in front of a coffee shop I helped him to a bench so I could get drinks. 

I left him there, telling him not to move, he flipped me off before I left. 

The cafe was mildly busy, alternative rock playing in the background, I ordered coffees. 

I waited around, the waiter kept giving me odd looks and flirting slightly with me, I wanted to yell at her, that I was gay, but that didn’t seem appropriate. I took the coffees’ from her and returned to a very confused looking Yamaguchi. 

I handed him the warm drink. “What’s wrong with your face,” 

Yamaguchi shook his head at me, taking a sip of the drink. 

I rolled my eyes, and looked out onto the street, watching the cars pass, people chatting on the sidewalk walking side by side, businessmen looking at their phones and almost running into people, kids running and yelling. Couples laughing together and holding hands. 

I sank down in my seat, looking away from everyone and up at the sky, pretty much cloudless. 

I sighed, closing my eyes and feeling warmth washing over me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry it's been so long again, I've had a headache on and off for the last week or so, I started writing this I don't know when, so when I finally got to 1000 I was like fuck it I'll post it now. But I'm so glad to finally say this I'll be starting anti-anxiety meds in the next few days! so yay less anxiety. Anywho, let's hope my headache clears up soon so I can get back to writing better and longer chapters. Thank you for all the lovely comments as well. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	7. You, and forgiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these chapters are probably only going to be around 1,000 because that's all I can manage at this point and time. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Yamaguchi

We stayed out for a long while enjoying each other's presence, not talking just sitting in comfortable silence. 

Even if I was talking once more, it didn't mean we'd go right to having heart to hearts, or I'd start talking a lot. 

It just wouldn't, and maybe it would never happen. It could stay the way it is for the rest of the time he's with me. 

Me saying something every once in a blue moon, and he'd go back to his salty comebacks, and cursing. 

It didn't sound half bad honestly, well to me anyway. He could have a totally different thing going on in his head. 

He could be thinking that I'd want to talk to him, and my mother again. 

Even if he had hung up on her earlier even when I talked to him. He could be that kind of person. 

I don't know anything about Tsukishima just that he swears a lot, listens to a boatload of odd music, and is too quiet. 

I wish I could see him, to know what kind of person he is, if his smile lights up a room, or if his eyes show the galaxies beyond, or if his hair is the colour of everything I wanted and needed. 

All I could do now was listen to his voice, and his light touches my wrist and hand. And the way he walks so such purpose. (Even if he sometimes walks into walls) 

My whole life before was based on sight off of the colours I blended with, with the blacks running into the pinks, and pale blues. 

Off the sun setting with pinks and oranges, and lovely red. 

It was my own world. My own outlet. With all the fighting and the yelling, and sound of my father crying himself to sleep. 

I never thought I would hate the person who brought me into this world, and maybe I didn't hate was a strong word. 

But it's all I could describe her with. Junko the woman who would make my father cry, Junko the woman who didn't cry when the accident happened, Junko the woman who left her son, not long after his father left. Junko a girl I could hardly call a mother to me. 

At school they would talk about abusive relationships, and how some people were hit and knocked down until they couldn't stand on their own without therapy or medication. They never told me that it could be words that knocked them down or pushed them over the edge. 

When I could no longer go to school I was there more, I heard everything. Nothing went unheard to me, I noticed everything even if I couldn't see anymore. 

Hours upon hours of yelling, crying, half-assed apologies. 

Once we were safely back in the apartment locked behind doors. I sat alone in the living room, metal music playing lowly on the tv. The clanking of dishes in the kitchen from Tsukishima making dinner. 

I drummed my fingers on my leg along with the music, thinking about all the nights I listened to this song well painting, or trying to drown out the noise. 

 

Going out today wasn’t as bad as before after we got coffee we had to go to a store to grab some food for the week, my mother called again when we were out, Tsukishima ignored it and kept doing what he was doing. 

It was hard being in the store with all the people, I had to hold onto the cart as Tsukishima ran off to get somethings. 

I decided then that shopping wasn't really my thing. 

I kept quiet for all the time through dinner so did Tsukishima. 

The food was pretty good, some type of curry. 

After dinner, Tsukishima led me back into the living room stating he was bored and we're watching and movie. 

Well, he's watching, I'm listening he clarified. 

Awhile into the movie, there's a knock on the door startling me, and making Tsukishima grumble about the good part. 

I sit there quietly waiting for him to return, I was kind of getting into the plot. Tsukishima Didn't seem to mind the descriptive voice over top. 

“Hey, someone who claims to be your parent is at the door,” 

Tsukishima

I started at the woman standing at the door, she looked nothing like Junko. Unless she got some major plastic surgery.

“How again are you related to Yamaguchi?”I asked again, leaning against the doorframe.

She stood awkwardly in the hallway. 

“I--”she starts, she does kind of look like Yamaguchi with the same brown hair with green undertones. 

“Oh, right sorry.” She starts again, her voice calm and deep. “I'm Yamaguchi’s father.”

I stand there dumbfounded. Then it all comes together.

“Oh.” Is all that comes out. “I’m going to go and talk to him, about this. I'm assuming he doesn't know.”

She shakes her head, “No, he probably doesn't, his mom wasn't too happy about it, so she probably didn't tell him.”

I nod slowly. Heading into the living room Yamaguchi sat exactly where I left him. 

I'm not even sure how I should go about this, maybe I should just say it's his parent and leave it to her to come out. 

“Hey, someone who claims to your parent is at the door,”

Not the smoothest. 

His head snaps to my direction, he bites his lip nervously.

“it's not your mother,”I quickly add. 

He relaxes.

Yamaguchi tilts his head to the side. 

I ignore that and head back into the mudroom to let her in. 

“He’s the in the living room,” I mutter to her, going to the kitchen as she takes off her shoes. I tap Yamaguchi on the head as I walk past. 

 

Yamaguchi 

I was still confused, Tsukishima said my parent was at the door, maybe he was confused though, I can’t see my father coming back after what happened. 

I don’t hear anything, the music's too loud for me to catch their talk. 

The couch dips beside me, there’s a small sigh, and then there’s a hand on top of mine, rough but also soft. 

“Hey, Tadashi,” The soft voice instantly reminded me of my dad, the voice almost seemed softer though. “How are you?” 

I shrug. 

“Still not talking?” 

I shrug again. 

“I need to tell you something.” 

I nod my head for them to continue.  
“It is me. I’m guessing you already gathered that, but I wanted to let you know, enough though outside appearance never meant anything to you.” 

I cock my head to the side. 

“I left because I needed out, your mother didn’t understand but I hope you will. Because I’ll always love you.” He lets out a loud sigh.”I’m a woman, and I always have been.” 

I tighten the hold on hi--her hand. 

“I understand,”Is all I say. Before I feel her hugging me, I hug her back with little hesitation.”What should I call you?”I whisper in her ear. 

There’s a little-relieved laugh,”Anything’s fine, you can still call me Dad if that’s easier for you,” She said releasing me and ruffling my hair like she always used to when she got home from work. “I know this doesn’t make up for the fact that I left you, and It doesn’t matter if you ever forgive me for that,” 

I nod, I’m not over it yet. But she had a really good reason to leave, I’d leave too. 

She talked a while with me, me mostly just nodding along, listening to the stories of her and her new life. She seems happy, she’s already taking HRT and has been on it for a while, she’s still working at the same place, and seeing the same girl I thought she had run off with to do whatever. 

Tsukishima hasn’t come back into the room as far as I can hear. He’s probably washing up or doing something on his laptop. 

I don’t remember much of the last few months she was here. I didn’t leave my room much the accident was still fresh and running high in the house. I was scared to leave my room the room I was so used to seeing and painting in. 

I know there was yelling more than normal, I know there was the talk of moving and divorce. Anything to fight about was fought about. Nothing was left unsaid between the two. 

“How is it living with him? I know your mother left a few weeks ago,” She asks, me stopping playing with her hand to listen more intently. 

I shrug, “It’s fine, I’m glad she’s gone,” 

There’s a loud sigh, “She’s still your mother, Tadashi,” 

“I know,” Is all I said. 

She doesn’t dare to say anything for a moment and gets cut off before she can say anything. 

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” Comes Tsukishima’s stock cold voice from the kitchen’s direction.”It’s getting late.”

“Oh, yes, I must get home now, I’ll leave my contact info with him.”She said ruffling my hair. 

The apartment is soon quiet again, and I’m being lead through the house to my room, up the stairs.

We brush our teeth quietly, Tsukishima not saying anything, he takes my hand once we’re finished to lead me off to my room. 

He sits me on my bed, still holding my hand. He doesn’t let go of it right away like normal, I don’t either. 

“Night,”Tsukishima mutters for the first time since he’s gotten here, letting go of my hand and closing the door softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okkkkaaaaaaaaaay, I'm not really feeling this chapter, but it's here. So here take it.   
> I can't believe I've already got ninety kudos on here! It's crazy, last time I thought it was crazy so this, this is unbelievable. Thank you so much!~ and please feel free to leave a comment, I love getting your guys' feedback 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	8. Anxious, defending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small little baby chapter.

Tsukishima

I wanted to know how things went the other night, but I still didn’t feel that Yamaguchi would be up for it. Seeing as he’d probably still be in shock, and he’s still not one for talking. 

His mom was still calling too much for my liking and Yamaguchi’s. But that wouldn’t stop until he actually called her back. 

I almost thought it would be right for him to call her, but I can’t force that on him. 

It's almost been a month since I’d come to look after him, and a few days since he said anything. 

I sit on the counter as Junko continues yapping in my ear, I’m tempted to hang up on her, I wonder if she’d keep talking to herself. 

Yamaguchi’s still sat at the table, drinking coffee. 

One of the chairs screech across the floor startling me, the next moment Yamaguchi’s standing in front of me holding out his hand. I stare at him confused, then hand him the phone slowly. He takes it holding it to his ear, he leaves the room feeling along the wall, I jump up from the counter helping him to the couch, so he doesn’t fall again. 

Once I know he’s safely seated, I leave the room, going up the stairs two at a time to my room. I sit on the bed, looking at the ceiling. There could be worse things I could be doing with my summer. 

Yamaguchi

My mother was still talking about whatever her and Tsukishima were talking about, I’m not really sure what it was they were talking about though, something to do with her boss? I think? Or some guy that was hitting on her? 

I want to yell at her, for not telling me where or what happened to my dad, I wish even more so now that I left with him, instead of staying and being unhappy with her. 

Sure I can find some way to meet up with my dad more, and maybe I could ask her if I could move in with her. But that could be too much, for all I know she just needs money and I’m the closest thing she has to family. 

“---He just wouldn’t stop looking at me- and” 

“Mother,” I stutter out quietly. 

“---And things just kind of took off from there---

“Mother,”I say louder, voice sounding raspy and wrong. 

She stops. 

“What?” She sounds odd. Tadashi

“...”I keep quiet. 

“Is that you Tadashi?” She said claiming some of her normal loud and bashing voice. 

I nodded, “Yes,” 

 

“Oh, my. I’ve been so worried! Tsukishima wouldn’t let me talk to you---

“Stop calling,”I cut her off hanging up the phone, and putting it off to the side. 

I sigh sinking down into the couch cushions. 

I run my hands through my hair, wishing I had a haircut to try and keep some of the hair away from my face. 

I hope that will keep my mother at bay for a small while, that could’ve also made things worse, I did talk to her. She may get mad enough to fly back early.

The couch dips beside me not long after. 

“What did you say to her?” Tsukishima asks, his voice lower than normal. 

I shrug my shoulders. “I told her--to stop call--calling,” 

That gets a little laugh out of him, it’s surprisingly softer than I thought it would be. 

“Hopefully that works, I already hung up on her a few times,” 

I nodded slowly. 

He didn’t say anything for a while, he muttered a few things to himself the couch dipping as he left again. I couldn’t tell where he was going, he’s always so goddamn quiet. 

“We’re going to get you used to this apartment,”Tsukishima states from somewhere behind me. “I cleaned everything that could get in your way,” 

I cocked my head to the side, how was he going to do that. 

“You’re like a prisoner right now,” 

I shook my head and stood. 

A minute later I feel hands around my wrists.  
Tsukishima slowly starts leading me around the living room. 

He lets go of my wrists, “Here,” He said softly. “I’m on the couch, come find me.” 

I nod, he starts reading out loud to help me follow his voice, he’s reading an article about pandas. His voice rough and soft, and lovely. 

I take one step feeling around to find anything to hold on to. My hand hits something I run my fingers lightly over it. I’m near the tv, his voice sounds off to my left. There’s a coffee table and another couch. The couch in front of me coffee table off to my right. 

I take a few steps forward, turning to my right and walking forward. I feel my fingers on one of the armrests now I just need to figure out what one it is, I walk some more listening to Tsukishima’s voice and how it gets slightly higher when I get closer. 

My shin hits the coffee table making me face plant into the couch in front of me, me landing ungracefully on Tsukishima who makes a funny noise. 

“That was good, next time don’t fall on me though,” He said sarcastically patting my head. 

I sit up straight, face warming. I can feel Tsukishima’s graze on me, I turn my head away from him. Tsukki

“Sorry, Tsukki,” I said voice breaking off weirdly, making his name come out stupidly on my tongue. 

I hear him clear his throat, my face feels even warmer somehow. My skin always showed my blush too well. I put my hands over my face hiding. 

The phone rings and saves me from further embarrassment. 

“Hello,” He answers. 

I feel him get up from the couch. Once I think he’s safely out of the room. I take my face out of my hands. 

I bring my knee up to my chest. It was my first time really trying to get around the apartment by myself I should be proud but all I feel is the blush still high on my face. 

Tsukishima flops back onto the couch startling me.   
“Idiots from my school are coming round,” 

I raise an eyebrow, resting my chin on my knee. The only person I’ve been around who’s my age is Tsukishima. I feel anxiety crawl up my back, it wrapping around my mind. Making me feel a low buzzing noise. 

“You’ll have to try that again later,” He said talking about me trying to find my way around. 

I was a little disappointed. 

This was scary and new, and people. At least with the walking, I didn’t have to worry about talking to people or getting in the way. 

Or the anxiety of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhhh I can't believe once more this now has over 100 kudos!!! likkee,,, what??!!
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and feedback is very much appreciated! 
> 
> This once again took forever to write things kept happening and then I just haven't been feeling well enough to actually sit down and write. 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	9. Burning, and jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats nervously*

Yamaguchi

 

They sat in silence waiting for Tsukishima’s “Friends” school annoyances as Tsukishima had phrased it. 

I had nothing to say about any of it, I never really thought any of his friends would come around. 

All I noticed is my anxiety spiking every time the clock ticked, and the beat of the drum in the music, and the way my fingers tapped to the beat to sidetrack me from the impending doom of socializing. 

These people would probably be loud and new and weird and everything outside of my comfort zone. 

‘Insert name’ tapping away at his laptop like it's any other day, and not the day that people are going to be coming into my safe space. 

Not that he would really care, he didn't tell me anything about himself I only recently learned he actually had a name. 

He'd almost been here a month and we'd left the apartment twice. He was changing everything I knew with the tap of a finger on a key. 

He hardly ever was phased with anything, I still longed to know what his face looked like and the face he made as he swore and the one he made as he talked me my mom drone on about things that will never concern him. 

A knock on the door brought me out of thought and starting me. Tsukishima sighs, I hear his footsteps to the door, I sit up properly. 

Heart beating a mile a minute. 

I hear voices in the mudroom from here, louder voices one whiny and loud, the other just a rumble from here still louder than Tsukishima’s normal inside voice. 

Tsukishima swears a few times, more footsteps come into the room, still chatting between each other, Tsukishima seems to mostly ignoring them only chiming and with grunts in response to whatever the whiny high voice is saying.   
“---Oh hello!” Said a loud cheerful voice. Trailing off from whatever he was talking about before.

“Kageyama’ this way,”Tsukishima cut the voice off, leaving the room. With “Kageyama” 

I hear Kageyama and Tsukishima bickering lightly as the stairs creak. 

The couch dips beside me, “Hi, I’m Hinata, what’s your name?” Asked the cheery voice, Hinata. 

I nod my head in greeting, “Yamaguchi,”I said shortly. 

“Tsukishima said you were blind that’s cool!” 

I shake my head. 

“It is! Like, you have heightened hearing! Like woah!~ one of my mothers is deaf and she has awesome sight! It’s almost like a superpower!” He said would childlike glee. 

He continues to go on about his family, his little sister and his two moms.   
Kageyama and Tsukishima off doing gods what, I didn’t mind having Hinata talking to me it was kind of refreshing from the normal quiet or loudness of the house. 

 

Tsukishima 

 

I hand Kageyama the book I borrowed from him before we went on break, he takes looks it over and nods. 

“We better head back down before Hinata talks Yamaguchi’s ear off,” Kageyama states rolling his eyes, we walk down the stairs in silence. 

“How’s it going anyway?”He asks probably bored. 

I sigh, pushing my glasses back up my nose, I shrug, “It’s fine,” 

Talking with Kageyama never really works out, unless we’re bricking, we’re both people of few words so it feels forced to be around him, but sometimes that’s best, we’ve been “friends” for awhile I guess. I help him and Hinata study sometimes, and we go out together once in a blue moon. 

My mother says they’re my best friends because they’re the only people I’ve hung out with outside of school, I call them acquaintances when I said that to her she hit me over the head with a book. 

When we reenter the living room Yamaguchi and Hinata are still talking but Yamaguchi is touching Hinata’s face and talking to him really quietly about something, Hinata's giggling, Kageyama and I stop in the doorway making him run into my back. 

Once Yamaguchi’s done touching Hinata’s face and his hair, which is now more ruffled than normal now. Hinata lets him play with his hands a little mapping them out almost. 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding watching the encounter.

I clear my throat after I think they’re done so we’re not just awkwardly standing there. 

They both jump, Hinata jumping up and rushing over to his boyfriend and starting a conversation with him about the book. 

I take another deep breath trying to ignore the weird thing going on in my chest and take a seat next to Yamaguchi. 

He doesn’t seem to even acknowledge to me sitting next to him which pretty normal, sometimes there is tilt of his head. 

He starts playing with his hands anxiously. 

Hinata and Kageyama leave shortly after seeing as they just came by to get the book. Hinata talking more to Yamaguchi before he left, talking really fast Yamaguchi nodding along nonetheless. 

Kageyama and I just staring at each other confused at their talk and how we can’t understand anything they’re saying, well what Hinata’s saying. 

When they’ve been gone for an hour I start tea and turn up the music to drown out the sudden quiet.   
Yamaguchi hadn’t said anything about what Hinata said to him not that I had thought he would but I was kind of interested, to see what had sparked the conversion between the two, Hinata could talk to anyone and make them feel special though, but this was different he was getting Yamaguchi to have a conversion. 

I was a little jealous and wanted to know his secret to getting him to talk more openly. 

I hand Yamaguchi his tea wrapping his fingers around it to make sure it’s not going to drop and returning to my laptop. Phone buzzing before I could even take a sip of my tea. 

I roll my eyes taking my phone out of my back pocket and unwrapping my headphones from around it. 

 

Birth giver: 

I heard your friends dropped by! That’s great Kei!

 

Me: 

Can you read my mind woman? 

Birth giver:

Yes, also Hinata texted me, unlike one of my sons. 

Me: 

Hinata isn’t your son. 

Birth giver: 

:P 

Me: 

I regret showing you how to get emojis 

Birth giver: 

;) 

 

Me:   
Goodbye, mother. 

Birth giver: 

Goodnight love you!~ :) 

 

I turn off my phone and go back to typing on my laptop and drinking the strawberry tea I made. 

Sighing when it burns my tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye, it's been a while, I do have a reason though, first, I went to a con (which was great) cosplaying. then I got sick, and anxiety was being a bitch. So no writing even though I started this a while ago. I was also in podcast hell for a bit. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	10. Weird feelings, and words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's ya boi, back with another chapter!!! It's the tenth oneee wowie, I didn't think much of this when I started writing it seeing as I was super bored at the time. 
> 
> Lmao, Just a heads up, when I refer to Yamaguchi's parents, his trans mother will be referred to as mom, and Junko will be referred to as mother.

Yamaguchi 

I awoke with a start, sitting up in bed making my head rush weirdly. I took a few calming breathes, flopping back down onto my back. 

I slap my hand around on my desk until I find my phone, I unplug it. 

“What time is it?” I speak quietly into the microphone in case it’s still late. 

I didn’t think I’d been sleeping long, but it could be like all those times I’ve awoken swearing I had just laid down. 

“3:03 am”comes the voice of my phone. 

I sigh putting it back in its place as best I can, not bothering to plug it back in the charger now lost on the floor. 

Closing my eyes once more, hoping to just fall back to sleep, even though whatever that dream was wasn’t good. It never is though, I much prefer not knowing what dreams I had at least that way didn’t have to pretend I was okay. 

I lay there awhile longer not daring to open my eyes even if it wouldn’t make a difference. 

Laying there longer was getting boring. 

It’s been a week since Tsukishima’s friends had been around. The house is mostly quiet minus the music and his side comments. 

His hands are still as soft as the day we met, still as sarcastic as then too. 

Since everything that has happened my mother’s only called a few times, every time she does Tsukishima doesn’t answer he does turn the music up louder until the phone stops ringing. 

He’s also stopped typing away on his laptop most days, now I’ll hear flipping of pages, I wonder what he’s reading, manga? Fiction? History? 

He could just be doing school work, I can’t really tell.   
I stand from my bed, putting my hand on the wall to study myself, I feel around for my door handle, the coldness making me flinch. I creak open the door, it sounding too loud in the quiet of the apartment. 

I cringe at the noise, stepping out into the hallway, stopping in the middle of the hallway, the stairs are to my left, so my mother’s bedroom is to the right, and the bathroom is in front of me and to the right. 

I walk to the right keeping my hand on the wall, once I’m nearer to the bedroom, I can hear faint music coming from behind the closed door, it’s just piano music without vocals from the sounds of it. 

I walk closer until I can hear the music fully, I put my hand on the doorknob standing there for what feels like forever, which is probably five minutes. 

I can’t hear anything other than the music. I want to open the door and to hear it better and to know if I’m not the only one who can’t sleep tonight. 

 

The need of being close to someone is strong standing there, the anxiety coursing through me saying I should back away before he notices, which would be insane if he actually just fell asleep with music on. 

It chicks as the door comes open, there’s a sound a book closing, flapping of pages. 

It’s quiet. 

“Why are you up?” Sounds Tsukishima’s voice, it sounds tired, less than normal, like the words are drawing out farther, and they're harder to get out. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” It comes out before I can even process what I’m doing, I’m standing in the door to my mother’s room, the room that belongs to my so-called mother. 

He doesn’t say anything, for a moment I don’t think he’s even heard me at all. 

“I couldn’t either.” He mutters. 

I stand there feeling stupid. 

“Get over here than,” He said after another long second. There’s the sound of covers being pushed off to the side, followed by his light touch on my wrist, and his scent, which is stronger than normal. 

He smells of strawberries. 

Then I’m being pulled farther into the room, that smells more of him now than it ever did of my mother. 

I’m sat down on the bed, leaning against a pillow which is leaning on the headboard, blanket pooled around my waist. 

There’s a shuffle as he hits next to me, and suddenly I feel the warmth of him sitting next to me on my mother's bed. 

 

 

Tsukishima 

It’s one of the colder night in the summer, having it rained for two days in a row, and it’s looking like it’ll carry on for three days. 

That isn’t a bad thing, I enjoy the rain and the sound of it hitting against the windows. The cloudy sky feeling sadder than I normally feel. It’s calming. 

 

Yamaguchi’s sitting next to me not saying a word it was odd enough he managed to get to my room let alone talk to me. We had been trying to get him used to the apartment slowly, we haven’t even gotten to the upstairs yet. 

He’s just sitting he has both his hands fisted in the blanket, I haven’t dared to say anything, I turned down the music, in case he needed to talk to someone. 

When he doesn’t, I start reading. 

“Has my mom called?” He asks suddenly after a while. 

I look over at him raising an eyebrow even though he wouldn’t be able to see it anyway. 

“Which one?” I ask turning back to my book, but it’s useless, I can’t seem to take in any of the words on the page with him sitting next to me. 

“My dad,” 

I nod, “She texted the other day, saying she’d like you to meet her girlfriend, I told her we’d figure something out.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I was going to, but I was hoping you’d be okay with waiting because you don’t talk much,” 

“Please don’t withhold information about my parents from me just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I can’t do anything for myself,” He said in a whisper. 

I stare at him shocked, “I-I wasn’t withholding information because you’re blind, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how to. Neither of your parents of been very good to you, one left, and one has been shitty to you for your whole life,”

“I know, but she’s the only thing I’ve--I’ve got left,” 

I nod, “I know,” 

I went back to reading and before I knew it I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer, having only enough time to put my book down and my glasses off, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

 

←--->

 

Yamaguchi fell asleep not too long after, sleep dragging it down into its depths without warning, even if he tried fighting, his eyes wouldn’t stay open. Rolling onto his side and holding his pillow closely. 

 

The last thing he hears is the soft breathing of the boy he met not too long and the boy his mother set upon him as his caretaker. 

The boy who smelled of strawberries, and the boy who had the softest touch   
Yamaguchi’s ever had the pleasure of feeling. 

The boy who changed everything from the music to the scent of the room, to the way he saw the world through day by day. 

Even if he’d lost his sight he hadn’t lost the urge to feel human.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow's the day I binge watch the fourth season of Voltron with my brother. New chapter should be up soon, I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter but we'll see. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	11. Hazy morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to stay productive, so new chapter!!!   
> Thank you for the lovely comments, you have no idea how much they mean to me!

Yamaguchi 

When I finally awoke the next morning I was confused as to where I was, I was in a comfortable bed, with thick blankets and a warmth next to me.

It all came back to me slowly, me walking into my mother’s room and finding Tsukishima awake and listening to music at three am, which was weird in thought but I get it. 

This apartment is weird. 

I couldn’t tell if Tsukishima was already awake or how early it was, and I didn’t bring my phone in here, and it would be too loud to figure that out too. 

I laid there a while longer, soon drifting off once more. 

I felt more rested than I ever had before it was odd and nice, and something I could get used too. 

 

Tsukishima 

I slowly open my eyes, they focus fuzzy on Yamaguchi who’s face is right in front of mine, at first I’m shocked because when did he get in here? 

I stare at him, his eyes are still closed his hair ruffled and hiding some of his face, he looks as peaceful as I’ve ever seen him. It’s odd, his eyes moving behind his eyelids.

I sigh rolling onto my back and grabbing my glasses from the bedside table. I look back over at him now that I can see better, he’s still there, completely unaware as to where he fell asleep. 

It’s kind of nice to wake up next to someone even that someone is someone that I don’t really know. 

My mind keeps going back to last night and the conversion we had about his parents, I feel a little bad about withholding things his mom texted me about, but it just made sense at the time to not say anything because of everything that happened even if I don’t know the full story and probably will never know the full story.   
I should probably get in contact with his mom, even if I feel like some errand boy, that is kind of what I was hired for, though I just thought it was a good way to get out of the house for the summer and away from my brother. 

I get up from the bed walking to the little bathroom, taking my glasses off and washing my face, trying to get in the right mindset of taking care of someone, and being in this fucking apartment for another day. 

That’s the worst part of it, not looking after a boy I hardly know, or the quietness or the blindness of said boy, it’s this apartment it feels like a cage. 

It’s not even that his mother used to live here, it’s just all of the apartment it’s dark and gloomy upstairs with no windows in the hallway and one in the bedrooms just so they can be bedrooms. 

Sometimes I think about just giving up and calling Yamaguchi’s mother and telling her to get her ass back here, and take care of her own son and find a job here, it really shouldn’t be that hard to find work here.

Not that I’ve looked. Or tried to get a job. I don’t even know what Junko does. 

My cell phone rings interrupting my over thinking which probably would be followed by a breakdown. I dry my face and answer my phone. 

“Hello?” I ask voice still filled with sleep. 

“Hi,” the women said on the other line. 

“Who is this?” I ask rubbing my eyes, I can hear my mother’s voice in the back of my head saying that’s not how you greet people! It’s may I ask who’s speaking! You fool, who raised you. 

Okay, maybe not that last part. 

“Uh, hi I’m Mao, Yuzuki’s girlfriend?” 

“Who’s girlfriend?” 

I’m so lost and still half asleep, is there anyone I know who’s dating a girl? All my “friends” are gay, or lesbians without partners or they’re aroace. 

“Oh sorry, Yamaguchi’s Dads? Girlfriend?” 

That makes sense. 

“Oh right! His mom.” 

“Yes!” 

“He’s still sleeping,” 

“Oh, I know. It’s early yet. I just wanted to see if there’s a way we could get these two together and you know so I could meet her son,” 

It’s much too early for this shit. 

“Possibly, could you maybe text me I have to make sure he doesn’t fall down the stairs.” 

“Yes, I wouldn’t him to die before I got to meet him,” 

“I wouldn’t want him to die either because that would be a bitch to get out of the carpet,” 

“Oh don’t worry I know some things that will get it right out of the carpet!” 

“Great, I’ll keep that in mind, bye.” 

“Goodbye!” She hangs up soon after, she didn’t seem like a terrible person, but I’m still half asleep so we’ll see. Or I’ll see and he’ll hear. 

I head back into the bedroom, seeing Yamaguchi already sitting up running his hands through his hair. 

He doesn’t seem to notice that I’m here so I purposely, put my phone down loudly on the dresser and walk over to the bed sitting down at the end of it on the side I slept on. 

“Morning,” 

He nods. 

“Back to not talking,” 

He nods. 

Sigh and lay down on the bed across his legs partly. Not caring if I normally would never think of doing this with anyone I know. I push that out of my mind like the conversion with Mao. 

And besides, he doesn’t seem bothered so who cares. Right? It sounds as if I’m comforting myself on this. 

Anxiety? I don’t know her. 

 

“Actually, I’m just scared to get out of bed,” Yamaguchi confesses. 

“Me too,” 

 

Yamaguchi 

There’s a weird warmth on my legs, I know for a fact it is Tsukishima. But it’s still a weird thought he doesn’t seem like the type of person just to lay on someone because they're there, or in the way. 

I wish I could see what he looks like laying there, I have this version of him in my mind, which problem looks nothing like him but it’s comforting. 

I sit up more and reach down to where I think his face is. I find it. 

His glasses that is, my version of him didn’t have those, they feel nice under my touch smooth and perfect, I ignore the anxiety flowing through me at what he’s thinking. 

“You have glasses?” 

He doesn’t say anything, I almost think he’s not going to answer. 

“No, I just like to keep these box things on my face,” 

I ignore his reply, and take the glasses off gently, he takes them from my hand. 

He takes my hand and guides it back to his face, I drift my fingers over his nose and his cupids bow, and his eyebrows. 

His skin on his face is even softer than his hands. 

He has long eyelashes. 

I run my fingers up his forehead and into his hairline. Hair soft and thin. 

Not as thick as my hair or Hinata’s. 

It’s probably nicer than mine, or Hinata’s though. 

“What colour?” 

“Blond,” He answers simply. 

I nod, I could see that hair like gold or pure light, warm. Angels.

“Eyes,” 

“Brown,” 

Warm and calming hazelnut colours. 

“Beautiful,” I breathe out, without meaning to. I remove my hands hoping he didn’t hear me. 

He sits up a moment later, coughs to clear his throat. 

“Your mom’s girlfriend called, Mao. She wants to meet you,” 

I nod, “When?” I ask losing my before confidence. 

“We haven’t decided she’s going to text me later,” 

I nod once more. “Can you help me down the stairs?” 

“I live for it,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! and there should be a new chapter up soon.
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	12. Hearts, stars and battleships.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, two weeks in a row on Saturdays.  
> Thank you for all the lovely comments as normal, and all the kudos! You're all too sweet.

Yamaguchi 

Time seemed to stop as the words left my mom’s mouth, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. 

I want you to live with me. 

I want you to leave. 

I want you to come with me. 

It kept running around my head, words mixing, words being added. The truth coming out. 

Everything going on seemed to go fuzzy I couldn’t hear what else she was saying it just kept repeating. 

Come live with me, Tadashi. 

Come live with me. 

Trust me, again. 

I faintly heard Tsukishima talking, I can’t understand him. 

Tsukishima and I had decided today was the day we’d met up with my mom, it’s been a few days since I fell asleep in my mother’s room. 

When Tsukishima had said he had figured out a date for us to meet up with them I didn’t think it’d go like this. 

I had thought it would just be meeting for coffee so I could meet her girlfriend, and get used to her again. 

This… 

She doesn’t have the right to just come out and say this. 

We’d only been here a half an hour when she dropped the bomb on me. I’m not sure how long I’ve been spacing out. 

Circling the words over, and over and over again. 

 

I don’t want to be at that apartment anymore but I don’t think I could move again, I don’t think I could go through my mom getting bored of me again and leaving.  
I can’t lose more people. 

She left. 

And so did she. 

I hear someone calling my name. 

Tsukishima 

I snap out of it, my mom is saying something, not towards me but towards her girlfriend. 

Tsukishima’s whispering something. 

His breath is warm on my cheek, “You still with us,” 

I nod, releasing my hands are shaking, Tsukishima takes my hand and places it on my warm coffee cup. I take a sip. 

“Do you want to leave?” 

I shake my head no. 

I need to hear more of what she has to say. I need to know that she’s ready, I need to know that I’m not a burden to her, I need to know she’s not going to leave me again. 

She may have thought that she was just leaving Junko but she left me as well. 

Does she know how it felt to have lost my eyesight than waking up one morning to find that my father ran away with the girl he was cheating on my mother with? 

She is the same person she was when she left but happier, and more herself. So why can’t she see she’s still causing me pain. 

I take a deep breath in and--”How do I know you won’t leave again?” I said, speaking the loudest I have since I started talking again, cutting off everyone who was talking at our table. 

It stays quiet. 

Tsukishima clears his throat beside me, I ignore that. 

When she doesn’t say anything for a while, I grab Tsukishima’s hand. 

“I would like to leave now,” I state, he doesn’t disagree, we leave my mom trying to get something out, but we’ve already left, walking out, Tsukishima hailing a cab once we’re out of that hell hole, of a coffee shop. 

He helps me into the cab, telling the cabbie where the apartment is. Country music playing in the background. 

I try and let go of Tsukishima’s hand, he doesn’t let me stop holding his hand, he squeezes mine. 

“Do you think I did the wrong thing?” I said under my breath. 

He sighs heavily. “I think you worded it wrong, but I wouldn’t blame yourself or her.” That’s all he says for the entire ride to the apartment. 

I nod. Laying my head against the headrest, closing my eyes. 

The car smells of cigarette smoke, it smells dirty. But it’s oddly comforting. 

Laying on the couch in the apartment once more shoes kicked off the side of the couch. Music playing. Heavy metal playing quietly. 

I feel Tsukishima tap my foot as he walks by, I roll onto my side bringing my legs closer to my chest so he can sit.

I hear the sound of pages flipping. 

Sigh sitting up, I poke him on the shoulder I think. 

He hums. 

“Read to me?” I ask quietly. 

He clears his throat and starts reading voice calm. 

When he finishes reading, saying he has to start dinner in the same calm voice. I can feel myself almost nodding off. 

I shake my head to wake up more, sitting up so I don’t fall asleep easier. 

The warmth near my legs are now gone, I straighten up, shifting so my feet are on the floor, I feel the carpet under my feet once more. 

The music still too quiet to understand what they’re getting at about being angsty.

I hear the phone ringing and then Tsukishima’s answering it in his normal way. 

“Hello-- who is this?” 

I roll my eyes. Laying back down, sitting up becoming too much work. 

I start tracing things on the couch. Hearts, stars, battleships. 

“Please stop calling me,” Tsukishima continues, then there’s the thump of him banging his head on something. 

“Goodbye, Akiteru,” And the beeping of the phone. 

And a loud sigh, “You ok?” I ask, rolling onto my back, wrecking my shitting battleship.  
“Yes,” There’s the sound of shuffling, followed by, “Food.”

I stand and walk towards the kitchen hand following the wall until the entrance to the kitchen. 

“No boxes.” 

I nod and hold onto the back of chairs until I’m to the one I normally sit at. 

I hear Tsukishima putting my plate down in front of me, then he grabs my wrist lightly, placing a utensil in my hand. 

I run my thumb along the prongs of a fork. 

We start eating, tonight salad of some sort and pasta. 

“Why do you not like your brother?” I start when I can’t stand being alone with my thoughts anymore. 

“I don’t, not like him,” 

I nod. “Than why’d you hang up on him?” 

“It’s none of your business,” 

I take another bite, he’s in a good mood tonight. 

I finish eating, placing my fork on my plate. 

“It’s his fault,” Tsukishima states taking my plate. 

My mind reels for a moment confused before it all comes together. 

I don’t say anything, not sure how to continue it, and knowing he doesn’t want to talk about it even if I did. 

I stand, hand gliding along the backs of the chairs to the living room again. 

Sitting down on the floor, back leaning on the couch. 

 

Tsukishima 

I flop down onto the couch, taking up all the room. I pat Yamaguchi’s head, he leans into the touch, I keep my hand there. 

His hair is soft, too soft. 

“I used to paint,” Yamaguchi says out of nowhere, I look at him out of the corner of my eye. “I lost that, when this happened,” He gestures at his eyes. 

“Why?” 

“Because I thought the colours were--are beautiful,” 

I lay there a moment, messing up his hair absentmindedly. “No why are you telling me?” 

“Oh, because, you shared something with me, so I am too.” He said, making me feel stupid. 

I nod. 

“I nodded.” 

He nods in turn. 

“Your hair is soft,” 

“And messed up because of some idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is stressful, my grandma's hurt, I'm planning my sixteenth birthday party, anxiety is bad, I'm worried about my best friend. 
> 
> Ugh, I just needed to get that off my chest. I hope everyone is well! 
> 
> Thanks for reading this chapter and I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	13. Sight, and remembering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhhh, shorter chapter.

Yamaguchi

“Please just think about it,”

“Please, Tadashi,” 

I pull the phone away from my ear as if it burned me, hanging up. Before she bags again. 

She makes it sound simple, leaving this place I’ve known and leaving the same place she left all those months ago, I haven’t talked my mother about leaving either, not that I still have much to say to her. 

She hasn’t called as much and even then it’s just so she can make sure I haven’t done anything stupid, or break any of her things. 

Even then I don’t talk to her Tsukishima does, and not for long, he hardly even replies to her. 

It’s gotten easier living with him, I’m almost used to it now, the way he talks the way he touches me. The way he helps me around the apartment. I can almost get around by myself now the stairs are the only real problem. 

Comforting to have him around, even if he’s not the most caring person, one would even say he was harsh in the way he went about things. 

Which he definitely was. But he was what I needed. He wasn’t loud, I wish he would at least make a sound when he walked.

The music always playing was nice, at least I wasn’t left alone with my thoughts. Tsukishima would even read to me sometimes, the books were odd sometimes, he liked weird things though. 

I felt like I could trust him more than anyone I could in awhile. 

Right now I’m laying on the couch him sitting on the floor leaning on the couch, typing something on his computer, he had been reading to me, some article. I don’t remember what it was about. But I could say that it was relaxing and one of my favourite things.

He’s been typing madly for two minutes. He sighs loudly, I tap his head. 

“It’s nothing,” 

I hum. 

“It really is,” 

“Uhuh,” 

“Ugh, why do you do this?” He asked. 

“Because it bothers you,” 

“No, it doesn’t,” 

 

“And most of the time you tell me what’s bothering you after,” 

“Shut up,” 

“Sorry, Tsukki,” 

“Don’t call me that,” 

“Tsukkiii,” 

“Shut it, Tadashi,” 

I squeak at that. 

 

“That’s what I thought,” He stated and went back to typing. 

I tap his head again face still feeling warm. 

“Hinata’s being stupid,” 

I nod. 

“He’s yelling about summer reading,” 

I hum in response. 

“He’s only read some of it, and he’s panicking because he doesn’t have much time to do the rest,” 

“Why does that matter to you?” I ask. 

“It doesn’t, he’s just being annoying,” 

He soon stops typing, I hear the sound of his laptop closing. 

He doesn’t say anything after that. I can’t tell what he’s doing, but It’s probably something to do with the music because it changes every few seconds. 

“How did it happen?” 

“What,” 

“Nevermind,” 

“Car crash,” 

“Oh,” 

“I was losing it before, I knew it would happen sooner or later, but… It happened a lot sooner then I had thought,” 

“Okay,” 

 

“How did you lose yours?” 

“What?” 

“Oh,” 

“I’ve had glasses since I can remember,” 

“Are they bad?” 

“Yes, not as bad as some but yeah,” 

Feels good to get it off my chest, after it happened which was when I was fourteen, it seemed that everything stopped that it was the end of the world, the crash was caused by my parents fighting and my mom not watching where she was going. 

Their marriage had always been bad but after all the doctor's appointments and ophthalmologist visits. 

Everything got worse, my mother started yelling more, thinking I was broken, and I started blaming myself, and then my mom crying herself to sleep and sleeping on the couch everything broke. 

Falling slowly but surely. 

It was all my fault, the reasons why the relationship failed, I wasn’t supposed to be born, they were not even dating when she found out she was pregnant. 

My mom was just a fling, a one-time thing to get back at my mother's boyfriend at the time. 

They were forced to marry from my grandfather. 

“Are you okay?” Tsukishima asks breaking me out of my self-depleting thoughts. 

“Yeah,” I say over the lump in my throat. 

“Okay,” He seems he settled on metal. “You look like you’re about to cry,” He states bluntly. 

I rub my eyes, “I’m good.” smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope this is not a disappointing chapter, I'm going away for the weekend and won't be back until late Sunday night and I don't know how I'm going to feel after that because anxiety~ And I'll probably have slow updates because I'm going to be busy the next little while because of Halloween and other things. But thanks for reading as always and comments and kudos are very much loved and such. 
> 
> Until sometime in the near future-TooAceForThisShit


	14. Learning, and loving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ur boi is back and tired as fuck. I started writing another story so this could be updated less. But we'll see because I love writing this, and I love you guysss ughghhhh

Tsukishima

Things were going fine with Yamaguchi, he was better since we met, I think? 

But things were also not that great I was leaving soon and his mother was coming back soon. Well, she claimed to be coming back soon, but who was I to take her word. 

Yamaguchi also hadn’t answered his mom, but he was giving all of his family the cold shoulder. 

The end of August was fastly approaching, I was getting anxious I had to start taking my anti-anxiety pill along with my anti-depressants. 

My own mother was texting more as well, telling me to bring Yamaguchi around for a visit before my brother went back to college. 

Most of those texts I didn’t respond too. 

I didn’t feel bad, but then when it came to my dad texting and calling as well, even if his texts were only bits and pieces I knew what he was getting at. 

Yamaguchi and I had been getting closer, it was odd. But good. Most people didn’t like me or I pushed them away.

I didn’t want that to happen this time, I didn’t want to push him away. 

All I could think about was how I was going to be forced back into school, with people I couldn't care less about, the work was good but the people weren’t, they are all idiots. They only care about their next boyfriend, or how Kuroo was so hot. 

Kageyama and Hinata only cared about volleyball or were too lost in each other. 

I was lost too, in school work, in my family, maybe I was even lost in---- No that doesn’t matter I was leaving in September. 

 

I lay in bed next to Yamaguchi we’re both awake he’s just laying there. 

Ever since he told me how he became blind we’ve been closer, most nights he comes into my room. Other days I sit at the end of his bed reading until he falls asleep then I leave. 

Last night instead of leading him to his room after we’d gotten ready for bed I led him to his mother’s. 

He didn’t say anything about it and neither did I. All I knew was that I needed him next to me, I needed the comfort. 

Which is stupid, to begin with, but when he reached out for my hand I held his back. 

I had awoken to him laying with his head on my shoulder next to me. 

We haven’t moved, I haven’t even put on my glasses or taken my pills. I knew it was afternoon. But I couldn’t bring myself to wreck this. 

It’s been so long since I’ve last been touched lovingly from anyone outside of my family, and I doubt Yamaguchi has ever. 

“I was scared,” Yamaguchi breaks the silence voice quiet almost as lost as it sounded when he first talked to me. “When you came here I was scared, I didn’t know who was taking care of me…..and my mother isn’t the best judge of character,” 

I ran my fingers through his hair, “I was pissed,” 

“Why?” 

I think about lying I think about stopping there, I also think about replying with a snappy comeback, like that’s just my personality. “Because I knew I wreck this just like I wrecked everything else.” 

Yamaguchi lifts his head from my shoulder, his hand wanders up my chest then to my face he rubs my jaw. 

“You made it better,” He sighs, “I haven’t had the best luck in life but you made it better.” He smiles lightly. 

All I can think about in that moment is kissing him. Pressing my lips lightly to his, what if he’s not even gay? Or bi? Maybe Pan? Or just straight and comfortable with cuddling other guys. 

No no no. He wouldn’t do that? 

I think again, It would be so easy to just lean up and press them together. 

So I did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHHAAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and I hope this wasn't too fast.
> 
> Comments and kudos are loved and welcome
> 
> New chapter soon
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	15. It doesn't last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote two chapters last night but I thought I'd space them out a bit. Next chapter soon, working on it now!

Yamaguchi

At first I didn’t know what was going on one moment I was talking and the next something was touching my lips lightly. When I finally clued in that Tsukishima was in fact kissing me. 

I kissed him back, before he pulled back, I held his face in place from where I was touching his jaw bringing his lips closer. 

It was all teeth and lips in wrong places it but I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Colours were lighting up behind my eyelids like when I used to draw, things flying everywhere, in unbelievable blues, pinks and greens. 

Nothing had ever felt like this before, Tsukishima stopped to breath and so did I. 

“Fuck,” He breathed out, in relief it seemed. 

He rolled me over so he was on top of me, he kissed me again, lightly not daring to go any further. I could tell he didn’t want to go any further and neither did I, I wanted to live in this world where things were calm and I could forget about my mother's and how both were pulling me in ways even my nightmares didn’t travel down. 

I’m walking down a road I’m scared of but looking forward too. 

I hold on to the hair on the back of his neck. We kiss until Tsukishima can’t hold himself up anymore, him pulling me back into his arms after, laying and breathing. 

He’ll kiss my head every once in awhile and I’ll return it to a light kiss to his neck. 

Tsukishima shifts a bit. “What are you doing?” I mumble into his neck, all I can smell is him. 

“Getting my glasses,” His voice sounds rough but calm. 

He shifts back holding me closer. 

“You didn’t wreck anything,” I said into the room, it didn’t feel as dark and lonely now. 

He sighs,”You’re amazing,” He mutters to my hair. 

I can’t help but smile at that pressing it to his skin. 

“Promise you won’t leave?” I ask. 

He doesn’t say anything, “Promise,” 

“Good,” 

We lay there in each other's arms until it’s unbearable. He holds my hand down to the kitchen because he wants to not because he needs to. 

 

He lets me help cook even though I think I burned everything. He guides my hand when I put the food on the plates. 

He doesn’t talk a lot and nor do I. 

He does make some jokes and I try to as well. He’ll laugh fakely when I try too. 

I pout but a smile breaks out on my face soon afterward.   
We cuddle on the couch with him reading, and soft music playing. 

When we finish the book, we lay down with his head on my chest well I make up stories. The stories bad and Tsukishima makes sure I know with no venom behind it, I said I would stop but he told me to keep going. 

He doesn’t answer the phone when he states my stupid mother is calling. 

After dinner there’s I listen to a movie well Tsukishima watches it, he plays with my hair, stating it’s dumb and telling me to stop giggling. 

“Your mother’s going to be back soon,” 

“Huh?” 

“She texted my mom, saying she’s going to be home on the 26th,” 

I stop, his hand settles in my hair. 

“When did she say that?” 

“Just now,” 

He did stop playing my hair for a moment. 

“How many more days?” 

“Three,” 

“Oh,” 

“Yeah,” 

“What do I do?” 

“I don’t know,” 

 

 

_______________________

 

 

That was last night, now Tsukishima and I are sitting on my bed, it’s late morning. 

“Have you made up your mind?” 

“Yes,” 

“So what is it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know who you think he's going to end up with and what will happen to their relationship! Hope you enjoyed. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	16. Tears, falling off the earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy oh boy new chapter, longer than normal.   
> This boy is now sixteen going on forty, I'm an old personnn.

Yamaguchi

 

I awake from the banging on the door, gasping and sitting up too fast trying to catch my breath. The dream, rather the nightmare had been bad there were yelling and a crash. 

I knew what the dream was from it was the crash, the one I had lost my sight too. This had been replaying in my thoughts a lot recently.

I could never really see anything only read the pain and the yell of my mother as we collided with the other car. 

I don’t remember what happened but the screams I could never forget. 

It’s something that sticks with you forever, even if you want to forget as much as I do. 

I stood from bed grabbing my cane by the door, finding the door took a long second. But I made it out into the hallway painless. 

The house was quiet, I was still used to it. I disliked this quiet. 

The air had happiness, things felt colder than ever though. 

I knew I was wanted downstairs but I couldn’t bring myself from the spot I stood outside my room. 

It had been two months since summer, two months since everything happened. Five months since I’ve seen my mother, two months since I felt the presence of the apartment. Two months since I’ve seen him. 

He hadn’t called, hadn’t come by. He said he would. As far as I could tell he fell off the face of the world. But maybe he thought the same. 

One day it felt like I just woke up in the house apart from him, alone, but not alone. 

Things were strange but ok, strange as in the way every Tuesday they left me alone, ok in the way they took me out three days of the week. Strange in the I had a time I needed to be in my room. 

Ok in the I was painting again. Strange that they were teaching me things and talking about college. 

I’m living with my mom and her girlfriend, it’s strange. I’m still not happy, I think too much and talk too little. 

My mom’s even been talking about therapy, and how I'd benefit from it, she still has to talk to my mother a lot and the whole getting me here was hard but fast. 

I didn’t have to deal with her at all. I didn’t want to, she said she wanted to see me and see how I was doing, which was bullshit. 

She doesn’t care, and I shouldn’t care about her anymore. 

She’s already moved now as well, living with a boyfriend, who happens to be the boss of the place she is working for. 

Now she’s rich and doesn’t work, and has fancy clothes.   
She’ll forget me soon enough. 

Painting is the worst, I do it but I feel no love towards it anymore, seeing was all I needed to paint and now that it’s taken away I can’t bring myself to love it. 

Sometimes I’ll start and afterward sit and wait for it to dry sometimes for hours, other times for minutes. That’s when the tears start coming. 

After their dry I run my fingers across the dry paint, feel where the lumps are of the paint I didn’t spread good enough. The rough texture giving me some kind of relief even if I know it’s not anything special, the colours won’t work together or it’s bland from all of the colours mixed together to make a murky brown or a gross gray. 

I feel the need to yell until my voice gets rough or I lose it all together. 

I don’t I stay quiet, I don’t talk during dinner, I don’t ask questions, even if they should be important to me. 

I can’t bring myself to care. 

 

“Tadashi, are you okay honey?” Mao said from behind me startling me. 

“I’m fine,” I mumble, knowing she’s the more talkative out of the two of them. The sooner I answer the sooner she’ll stop bugging me.

I sound bitter, and I probably am. 

“Okay…”She says not sounding convinced,” Let me help you down the stairs,” She said taking my hand from where it was hanging by my side. 

I can get down the stairs by myself, but she likes to “help” 

She sits me down on the couch, leaving with teas ready, I’ll bring it in, then we’re going to have a little talk.

 

“Okay, here. Just the way you like it, earl grey no sugar only cream.” As I take my first sip from the mug all I think of is the strawberry tea. 

I ignore the bitter taste in my mouth and take a few more sips. 

“You know she loves you right?” Mao asks I knew this was going to be the talk, my mom is gone this morning working early home at six. 

I shrug. 

“Listen she does,” Mao states gripping my shoulder. “She used to talk about you before we went to sleep, all the things you used to do, she still does, but now that you’re here she’s so happy,” 

She sounds close to tears, “I know, that you probably would be happier back in your old apartment with your mother--” 

“No,” I cut her off, “I wouldn’t, “I said taking a deep breath. 

“Okay,” She squeezes my shoulder, “I love you as well, I’ve only known you for three months, but from all the stories and just seeing how happy your mom is, makes me love you,” 

 

“It’s okay that you don’t love me, but I thought you should know,” 

“I’m not going back to school,” 

She doesn’t say anything, shocked. She recovers, “I know, Yuzuki knows as well, but is still stuck in this mindset, that maybe you would want to.” 

“There’s nothing there for me,” I finish removing her hand from me. 

And standing, I make my way to the kitchen. Keeping my hands on the wall, I go into the entrance, getting over to the sink, I touch my hand on the cold stainless steel dumping my tea out. Putting the mug to the side. 

 

I go back to my room. 

 

 

Tsukishima. 

Sitting at lunch was boring, Kageyama and Hinata were too lovey for my taste, so I sat outside, by myself. Even when it was cold and rainy. 

There I sat on a bench it was cold metal but far better than the loud cafeteria. 

There were a few other people out here spread out and quiet for the most part. 

I wanted to say that I didn’t miss summer like normal, I didn’t care. I liked school, minus the assholes and the stupid teachers. But this time it was different there was this weird hollowness. 

It felt like everything was old, and I was just waiting to wake up in that shitty apartment next to a boy with green hair and freckles that scattered everywhere on him. 

And the eyes, the fugged over dark green eyes. 

I sounded like some lovestruck teenager, like Hinata before he and Kageyama got together instead of being idiots for another year. 

But I wasn’t, I only took care of Yamaguchi, ignore the part about making out with said person, and waking up next to him for weeks. 

These things don’t ever work out for me, so why did I think this would be any different? 

The bell rings, snapping me out of my daze of music and thoughts. 

I sigh. Putting my food away and walking to class, headphones new thoughts on my mind. 

At dinner that night my mom stares at me a little too much when I don’t eat a lot, ignoring my father as he goes on about this dumbass he works with. 

I don’t give her another glance, finishing most of my food to leave, putting my plate in the dishwasher and retreating to my room. 

I throw my backpack on my chair falling onto my bed with a groan. 

I put on my headphones, the good ones not the earbuds. Turning my music on enough so I don’t hear anything else. 

My thoughts keep going to Yamaguchi, I know he’s not thinking of me, and I shouldn’t be thinking of him anymore. 

My brother still won’t stop calling me even though I’ve deleted him from my phone and refuse to even think of him. 

My mom probably put him up to it anyway. 

I don’t blame her for trying hell I would’ve yelled at me and already and kicked me out. 

I don’t hear the knock on my door, all I know is that my dad is standing in my doorway looking like this is the first time he’s stepped foot in my room. 

I remove one of the headphones from my ear, not bothering to look up at him. 

“Hey, son.” 

“What do you want?” I ask bluntly. 

“Wow, your mom was right, you’re more than a pissdemon than normal.” I can hear the smile in his voice. 

“So mom sent you?” 

“Yes, and no. She said she’s sick of you,” 

I nod. 

“Okay she didn’t in those words, but she wanted me to talk you, you know father to son,” 

“As long as this isn’t like the birds and bees talk we had when I was eleven,” I said scrolling through my phone trying to block out that talk. 

“I get it! I’ll never try and tell my gay son about sex again,” 

“Oh thank god.” I look at him for a second he doesn’t look upset, maybe a little uncomfortable. 

“Shut it, that’s not why I’m here.” 

He sighs closing the door, he puts my backpack on the floor and sits on the computer chair, he rolls it a little closer to the bed taking my phone and turning it off. He places it on the nightstand. 

I roll my eyes taking my headphones off the rest of the way and laying them on top. 

“Listen, kid.” He says in his serious dad voice. 

I hum. 

“I know you’ve been going through a bad time lately, but I need to know if you’re still taking your pills, because we don’t want a re-run of the last time you were off them,” He starts, locking eyes with me. 

I block out that as well, thanks dad for reminding me of both things I don’t like to remember. 

“I’m still taking them,” 

“Good,” He said, slapping my shin, “Next thing, do you still love me because sometimes I get insecure that my little boy is all gone, and I cry.” 

“Dad,” I groan, “Get on with it,” 

“Okay, okay, I told your mom I wouldn’t cry. Kei I love you, and it’s okay if, in your teen angst that you don’t, I hated my dad for a while too,” 

“You’re dad’s an asshole,” 

“Good point, I still hate him,” He concludes. “That’s not the reason I came here, to tell you yet again of my hatred for that man, I’m here to say that, being a teenager is hard, and life is hard, to begin with, but I want you to be crazy have fun, do stupid things, I want you to live, you don’t do a lot of that, I know at your age all I did was stupid things, and I want that for you, I want you to date get in trouble,” 

“Get someone pregnant at seventeen,” 

“No, don’t do that, at least wait till nineteen, at least then I can yell at you, but you’re an adult at least,” 

“Dad, I’m still gay,” 

“Son, there are still men that can have children,” 

“Why are you so informed?”

“I’m a social worker, I know shit, and I read a lot, I’m hip as you kids say,” He says doing finger guns. 

“I don’t know anyone who says hip, or does finger guns,” 

“Shush, you know me,” 

“No I don’t, Mom help there’s the weird man in my room talking about sex,” I say without raising my voice at all. 

He covers my mouth, eyes darting around the room, “She can’t know yet,” He whispers. 

I roll my eyes, kicking him in the stomach lightly to get his hand off my mouth. 

“Ow, my own child,” He said gripping his stomach. “I gave birth to you, my own flesh and blood,” 

“You didn’t give birth to me, your wife did,” 

“Oh, that’s why there’s this lady that sleeps in my bed, and we sometimes do it,” 

“Dad!” 

“Sorry, sorry.” He pleads holding up his hands in surrender.

“Listen, I love you, and your mom does, and your brother. No matter how much you block us out, we’re going to pick you back up,” His eyes lock with mine again, he pushes up his glasses. “You can tell us anything,” He states standing and leaving the room just like that. 

I stare at the ceiling, ignoring my burning eyes, I don’t cry. 

I don’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahahahha, hope you like this....? I mean I like it I think I'm funny.   
> thanks for reading as always, love the sweet sweet comments, and the lovely kudos. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	17. Painting, and Hinata being too loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter, another teenager who needs sleep.

Yamaguchi.

The weather was cold today, I could tell it had been raining. From the smell in the air, and how the bench I was sitting on was still damp. 

I didn’t bother moving, my mom and Mao had gone into the store already, and I told them I wouldn’t get hit by a car when I insisted on sitting outside. 

I didn’t enjoy going to the store with them as much as I should, the noise was too much and the anxiety that came with being blind in a store and getting lost was too much. 

Or running into someone, and them being mad that I ran into them, then they would find out I was blind and apologize, I didn’t want that. 

When that happens, I wish that they’d just start being mean again instead of giving me pity. 

It was nearer half an hour, it was quiet outside, minus the PTA speaker playing bad pop music. 

As far as I can tell nobodies sat beside me, but that’s probably mainly because it’s wet and nobody wants to walk around with wet pants. 

Well probably not, unless that’s like your kink. 

Wait, is that a kink? 

I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Who cares if it’s someone's kink. 

Maybe I care? 

I push up my sunglasses more, I don’t think it’s sunny today, so I could be a dead give away. Or not. 

Being alone makes me question everything. 

Like, I wonder if my mom found the right type of orange juice she was talking about in the car when she swore I wasn’t listening. 

Or, if the guy on the radio really thought through the song that was playing. 

And if Tsukishima still thinks of me. That’s normally where the thoughts end because I shouldn’t be still thinking about him, I should move on and act like it wasn’t the best thing that happened to me in years, in my sad pitiful life. 

Mom would yell at me for thinking that way. 

And my mother wouldn’t care, she’d maybe even agree with me. 

My butts numb. 

I push my sunglasses up onto my head, testing my eyes for the third time since they left me to sit on a bench that would make my butt numb. 

Now I’m bitter. 

Blame your parents for something you asked for. 

Well, parent. 

Mao’s not my mum. 

And never will be.   
It will always be my mom and Mao. 

And Junko and her rich new boyfriend, husband? 

I don’t miss the times my mother and my mom were married, it was toxic and wrong. 

Someone taps my shoulder making me jump my sunglass falling back onto my nose sitting on it weird. 

“Sorry, bub. It’s me.” My mom says. 

Bub. I smile a little. 

“Come on, Mao’s gonna join us in a minute.” She said taking my hand. 

She leads me to where the car is. 

“My butts wet,” I mutter. 

“I wonder why?” She asked laughing a little. 

I ignore that squeezing her hand, she squeezes mine back. 

It seems okay for the time being. 

I am trying to ignore my thoughts and him, and everything in between. And just focus on my mom, and how it’s better than that apartment. 

Even if nothing is as perfect as it could be. 

Perfect is too strong of a word for anything in my life, or anyone's maybe. 

 

 

 

 

 

Tsukishima. 

My Dad went back to being his goofy self only telling things about his workday at dinner and breakfast not talking about how he thinks I could try and hurt myself again. 

I’m not. But I hate thinking that I broke his trust like that. 

As much as I think of wanting to leave. 

But instead of this world, to a certain boy, I knew only for the summer. 

Okay, maybe that’s too much. For all I know he’s loving living with his mom and Mao and doesn’t think of me. 

I’m okay with that. 

I like to think. 

I stare at the ceiling it’s fuzzy, but reaching over and putting my glasses. Seems like too much for just staring at the ceiling, even when my eyes start to hurt from trying too hard.  
There’s a bang on my door, “I know it’s Sunday, but you still have to braise us with your presents!” My dad yells from outside.

I roll my eyes. 

“I can hear you rolling your eyes, get up,” He bangs on the door again. 

I don’t reply and wait till I can hear him leaving, and almost falling down the stairs from him yelling shit and fuck at the top of his lungs. 

The day before Yamaguchi left the little apartment was the day I had to leave, he hugged me before I left and I act like it wasn’t a big deal, it shouldn’t have been, but when you need to get in contact with a blind person you can’t message them. 

Well, I could but I don’t think he enjoys the voice of the thing that reads out the texts. 

Which is stupid to think about I should just go through with it either message his mom which would be weird, or message Mao which would be even weirder. 

I don’t take risks. I sit up in bed putting my glasses on and grabbing my phone unplugging it and texting my mom to tell her to make sure that she knows I’m alive. 

I go through the little notifications I have, there’s two from Hinata. 

Shrimpy: do u have the hw for ysterday?1?!

Shrimpy: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i saw yams!!!!!!!!!111 he was at work sitting on a bench,,,, i didnt talk to him tho cuz i was ringing someone upp 

I re-read the text, and re-read it until I have it memorized, even with Hinata’s horrible texting. 

Me: Yes. 

Shrimpy: can i come get it later????

Me: Sure. 

Shrimpy: !!

After lunch, Hinata shows up still in his work uniform and looking ruffled but happy probably from the bike ride here from work. 

I hand it to him and try to close the door in his face, but he sticks his foot in the door, which hurts him more than the door. 

He limps into our living room, he sits on the couch feet hardly touching the floor when he sits all the way back.

“So I saw Yams, he was sitting on the bench, and he was wearing sunglasses,” Hinata said bouncing in his seat a little. 

“So..?” I ask, trying to act like I don’t care.

“So...I know you,” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Stop,” 

He wiggles them again, “Like, like him,” 

I facepalm, “I don’t,” 

“Don’t act like I don’t know what happened!” He says too loudly for us being the only ones in the house. 

“I regret saying anything to you,” 

“Shush, no you don’t,” 

“Oh, but I do,” 

He gasps. 

He leaves a while after that, once I kick his ass at Mario cart that is. 

When my mom returns home, she tells me to start making food so she can shower. I make rice and curry. 

When mom’s done her shower she comes down in PJs and watches me cook, and talks about her coworker was getting married soon. 

Well sorta married. They’re two women that can’t really get married but the pretend, and then they’re moving to Canada to actually get married and live there. 

I half listen to her and try not to burn myself.   
I don’t really care who’s getting married but it’s time that I can spend with her and not really have a conversion but enjoy her company. 

Dad gets home and we eat mom retelling the story to dad and dad making a few jokes about Canada and then telling mom how work went. 

I space out, hardly paying attention to eating, all I know is now I’m finished I stand putting everything the dishwasher, go to my room and sitting at my computer desk.

It still hasn’t sunk in that Hinata saw Yamaguchi and I didn’t, I wonder if he stills looks the same or if he finally cut his hair. 

He was always putting headbands in even if they did nothing for his sight, I think he just liked the pressure for them, and how it reminded him of painting. 

I wonder if he paints.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. New chapter probably soon, unless I manage to catch up on all the sleep I've missed in my life. 
> 
> I'm real depressed but writing is my best friend at the moment. 
> 
>  
> 
> Unill next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	18. Rain, and the blues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a Canadian, I feel the need to say sorry, so, sorry.   
> New chapter! It's real short, but I thought why the fuck not?!?! I probably, maybe will have another one Sunday?

Yamaguchi

As the weather gets colder the voices get louder.   
Shops already playing holiday music. People talking too loudly about said holidays.

I shouldn’t be upset but it’s like this every year, I don’t want the summer to go or the fall to leave. 

Even if its still fall. 

There’s still too much rain, and too much time alone, I’ll hear my mom and Mao talking in hushed voices when they think I’m sleeping. 

The rain is comforting, the pitter patter against the windows, the smell of rain and fall, it’ll often come down, and won’t stop until the next day, too loud to sleep, too quiet to miss it. 

I thought of him too much but still felt like too little.   
He shouldn’t still be on my mind after all these months, but maybe it’s normal because he was my first everything, and he didn’t make me feel so alone. Even when I’m surrounded by people I love, and should love.

I am painting, no music playing, just rain as a soundtrack. I knew today I was painting with blues because I asked Mao to only put blues on the wood. I didn’t normally ask these things, but today I was feeling blue, blue as in the colour. Maybe, all the rain was getting to me. 

I wanted to paint him, but I knew it would look like a blob of nude, brown, and blond. 

I didn’t need to see to know that. 

There was a knock at my bedroom door, it creaked open. 

“Hey, bud,” My mom said from behind me. 

I nod. 

“What’s with all the blues?” She asks. 

I ignore that and keep painting. 

“Mao and I are going out for date night, is there anything you need?”

“No,” 

“You sure?” 

“Can I have your phone?” 

“Sure? Call Mao if something happens or if you need help, ok?” I hear the clank of her phone as she puts it on my desk beside me. She ruffles my hair. 

“Ok.” 

 

 

 

 

 

Tsukishima.

I’m starting to be pissed at the weather, I’m standing under a bus stop, glaring at the clouds. 

The rain has been non stop all week, and I was done with it. 

Even though I have a lot of memories of Akiteru and I playing when all the rain came. We hardly were inside when the time came. 

I checked my watch, the bus was late by five minutes. There was nowhere to sit, all being filled my grandparents or children and mothers. I was leaning on the doorframe into the sad little sitting area. 

I didn’t bother to check my phone when it chimed in my pocket. It was probably my mother, or my father telling a bad joke with too many spaces, or him telling me we need milk even though it was hiding behind everything. 

I know it’s not Hinata or Kageyama as they went home together so they are busy making out right about now. 

The bus finally pulls up, I’m the first on, I head all the way to the back, turning my music up more to block out the rest of the people on the bus. 

I stare out the window as all the blurred lights go by, one after another neon sign after neon sign. 

My head throbs to the beat of my music, I’ve had this headache since this morning, it’s getting worse as time goes on. All I can think of making it feel better is sleeping for ten hours, but I can’t I have homework, and parents. 

When the lights make my head feel worse, I get my phone out, changing the music too fast for me to even process what song is playing. I stop when a piano starts playing. 

I unlock my phone going onto the messaging app, the one message I have. 

 

Yamaguchi’s mom: I shouldn’t still be thinking of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone commented one of the best comments I ever got on the last chapter it made me so happy? I thought I'd share it with you! They said it this fic reminds me of rainy days with pastels but warm, and it perfectly fits this fic I feel? Like what the shit? So ahh thank you again Wynterized. I love all the comments but this one stuck with me in the writing of this chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	19. Sleep, and stupid things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya boy tried

Yamaguchi

It was dumb to send that, I shouldn’t have but I don’t know how to delete the message. 

Or maybe I don’t want too. 

I threw the phone on my bed after I was done talking to the phone like an idiot. 

I listen to the rain but when that gets too deafening, I find my phone beside me and turn on music, turning it up until it couldn’t get any louder. 

I resume painting trying to get lost in it like I used too, but it’s not there anymore. I give up getting up and carefully getting to my bed. 

I put my mom’s phone on my bedside table, ignoring it. I don’t dare to ask if he’s seen it or replied to it. 

He probably didn’t, for all, I know he deleted the number. 

 

Tsukishima 

I didn’t know what to do or really understand. 

The message wasn’t really much to go on, I knew it was from him. 

But I couldn’t help but think of him just playing with me, we should’ve both moved on. 

I shouldn’t care anymore, this isn’t how I am. I can’t even tell you the name of my first boyfriend when I was thirteen... 

Okay, that’s a lie, his name was Akio.

That’s beside the point! It’s been months. 

I pick up my phone from the bedside table, unplugging it from the wall, I turn it on squinting at the brightness. 

I pull up the messages with him. 

I stare at his text, thinking. 

Me: I’m going to call you. 

Before I can think twice, I hit call. 

“Hello?” His voice sounds different, rougher than this summer, quieter. 

“Umm..Hi,” 

“I--I” He starts. 

“I should’ve waited for you to reply,” 

“No--No it’s fine, Tsukki!” he stutters tripping over his words more. 

“This is stupid,” 

“It’s not….I’m glad you called, texting isn’t my thing,” 

“I know,” 

He laughs a little. 

“I shouldn’t be still thinking about you either,” I say, finally saying the thing I’ve been thinking about for months,”But here we are.” 

My words hang there in the silence, I hear him breathing on the other end. I sit up leaning against the wall feet dangling off the side. 

I almost think he hung up on me. 

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” The words are hardly audible when he speaks up. 

“I should have said something sooner,” I state.”But let’s not talk about that,” 

There’s a long silence again. 

“Tell me about school,” 

←->

 

We’re still talking at 2 AM he sounds half asleep but when I asked if I should hang up before he said he was fine. 

We’ve talked about most things, he talked a little about his mom and Mao, and that he’s painting again, but doesn’t like it. 

He let me do most of the talking, it was weird at first, I don’t consider myself chatty. 

“And then----”It sounds as if he started to doze off in the middle of his story again. It’s happened a few times. 

I smile a little wiping it off when I realize what I’m doing. I roll onto my side. 

“You asleep,” 

“Hmm…”His face sounds muffled. “No..” 

“When can we meet?” He asks voice still funny sounding. 

“Soon,” 

“How soon?” 

“Really soon,” 

“How soon is really soon?” 

“This month.” 

“Ok,”

“Goodnight,” I say with a stupid smile again. 

“Night, Tsukki,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it!! This has already 200 likes!! that's the most likes I've ever gotten thank you so muchhh 
> 
>  
> 
> Update real soon ;) 
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	20. A good title.

Yamaguchi

This is how it was going to go, I was going to stay where I was in the house with my mom and Mao, they weren’t going to be there, and he was going to come and see me. I’d hear him. 

I couldn’t see him but I’d be with him again. I’m scared and nervous but there was no going back, and if I did I’d regret it. 

It’d be something that would haunt me for years, maybe even forever. 

Okay, that was a bit much for someone I’ve only known a few months, and haven’t talked to in months. 

It is happening tomorrow, after the call we decided it would be better to meet up, it’s been two weeks now, we’ve talked a bit more but it’s still hard. 

Mom knew it was happening and Mao probably did now too, even if I didn’t bother to tell her. 

 

It left me all night to think about it, I couldn’t sleep, even when I felt like I was finally drifting off anxiety would wake me back up with a new and worse problem. 

I can’t even stare at my ceiling when I can’t sleep. 

I’m worried about everything, I don’t want things to be weird just because we kissed, I miss him, but I still feel as if I shouldn’t. 

It’s not against the law to feel these things, but it’s still too new and different for me. I don’t want to always be like this. 

No wonder some people thought it as a sickness. 

Liking someone, it turning into love. 

I don’t know why people dream of falling in love, losing that much of yourself, and sometimes forgetting who you are in the process. 

I shake my head and roll onto my side. 

Go to sleep.   
Go to sleep. 

Go to sleep. 

I repeat in my head, squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I can. 

 

Tsukishima

Sleep seemed like some far away dream at this point and time, so I sat in bed reading. Trying to keep my mind off the impending doom of tomorrow.

I had been anxious just when I lied down to sleep before it was a far away thing. I have been trying to sleep for the last hour and a bit, and it wasn’t coming.

So reading was a good alternative, then laying in bed staring at the ceiling like some love-struck teenager. 

Switch I wasn’t.   
The book I was reading wasn’t particularly interesting, or good in the slightest, it wasn’t helping the case of not being tired at all. 

To add to the anxiety of tomorrow, on Sunday I would be also forced to get through a dinner with my brother, he wasn’t getting in until I would be already gone to Yamaguchi place. 

I hoped my mom would only force me to attend one dinner, anything more would be a nightmare. 

The book gets to the part where the guy and the girl start making out, I throw it “gently” onto the floor. 

Putting my glasses on the bedside table and turning off the lamp. 

I roll onto my side facing the wall. 

I stare until my eyes feel dry and watering a bit. I close them tightly, sighing. 

 

\------------------  
The morning was rainy and the little snow we did get was sloshy and melting. 

I was wearing sneakers still because I didn’t have winter boots yet. They were wet and soggy by the time I made it to the bus stop. 

By the time I would get there it would be late afternoon, I overslept and was already running late. 

I did get sleep but not much, I don’t know how many hours exactly. But after two cups of coffee and toast, I was out the door with my mom yelling after me for not finding the right “winter” attire.

I had remembered to send Yamaguchi a text even though I knew he wouldn’t write back. 

I sat on the bus next to an older lady who was humming under her breath I tried to keep my glaring to a minimum, which was getting harder by the second. 

When the people in the back got off, I went back there, giving the older woman one last glare when she wasn’t looking. 

I put my earbuds back in, I decided to bring them instead of my normal headphones. 

I turn them up louder, trying and failing to block out everyone who’s talking. 

Babies and confined spaces aren't ideal. 

Neither are people in my book though. 

I lean my head against the headrest. 

This could go two ways, either it’s not awkward at all and it’s just like how the summer was. Or it’s so awkward I end up leaving and regretting everything that leads me here. 

I’m ignoring the in between and the worst case. 

Well trying too. 

 

\-----------

Yamaguchi  
There’s a knock on my door that startles me out of my thoughts. 

“Hey, bud. Your mom and I are heading out now, we’ll see you later, have fun!” Mao says. 

“Yeah, bye.” 

“Is something wrong?” She asks, sounding concerned suddenly. 

“No---”I start,”I’m just anxious.”I finish, taking a deep breath. 

I hear my door close softly.”Oh, I get that, when your mom and I went on our second date I was really nervous. I was dying inside. I hardly got any sleep the night before.” She says laughing a little. “I actually threw up,” 

I frown. 

“Yeah, I know gross.” 

“I’m sure things will go fine today, you’ve known him for a while things shouldn’t have changed too much since the summer,” She assures. “And if it doesn’t call us and we’ll be home and I’ll kick him out myself.” 

 

“Please don’t kick anything,” I say winces, remembering the time she kicked something and a cup broke. 

“I’ll kick anyone who hurts your mom!” She says loudly,”Or you.” She finishes. 

I raise an eyebrow questioningly.

“Anyone who hurts you hurts Yuzuki too,” She states. 

I nod awkwardly. 

“I’m gonna give you a hug now, and then I’ll leave and you can be with your boyfriend~” She sing-songs loudly. 

“He’s--He’s not my boyfriend!”I stutter out as she embraces me. 

“Oh sure, sure.”She laughs. I hug her back it’s warm. 

She pats my head, leaving and closing the door softly behind her. 

I sit there a long moment, thinking of the hug which was weird and not the first time she had hugged me. Every time thought it shocks me. 

I head out to the living room sitting on the couch and listening to music, twiddling my thumbs. 

When there’s a knock on the front door, I stand up too fast making myself dizzy, reminding myself to drink more water later. 

I clumsily make my way to the door, tripping on a shoe but studying myself on the wall before I fall. 

I catch my breath, putting my hand on the doorknob and thinking this is it. 

I take another deep breath opening the door.   
\-------

Tsukishima

I keep checking my map on my phone as I get closer to the little house, making sure I’m walking down the right street even though I know that I am. 

When I see the house I stare at it, it’s just a small yellow conjoined rental house, with potted plants on the deck that haven’t fared well in the weather. 

I look at the house numbers making sure I go up to the right one. I go up the little stairs to the right one. 

I stare at the door willing for him to open it even if he has no idea that I’m here yet. 

I sigh knocking softly on the door, and once again louder so he can actually hear me I think standing on his doorstep any longer would be alarming to the neighbors. 

I hear footsteps and what sounds like someone tripping. 

Then, I'm face to face with Yamaguchi.   
He looks pretty much the same eyes the same fogged over green, hair a crazy brown greenish mess. Freckles dusting his cheeks along with a light pink tinge, he’s dressed in all black looking slightly nervous. 

When I realize I’ve been standing there too long without saying anything, I clear my throat awkwardly feeling my face warm. 

“Hi,” I start sounding stupid and not like myself. 

“Hi?” He questions his voice is better when it’s not over the phone. 

“Umm…” 

“Oh! Right, Umm…. Please come in,” He says stepping off to the side and gesturing in. 

I step into the house, he closes the door. I start taking off my now soaked shoes, I also put my socks in my shoes. I line them up next to the other shoes, and grab the stray shoe he tripped over putting it with its mate. 

I follow him into the living room the house is very welcome and small, the kitchen off to one side of the living room, with a door to the bathroom to the other side, with the stairs up to the bedrooms. 

He sits down on the couch, starting to twiddle with his thumbs anxiously. I take a place next to him making sure I’m a good distance from him. 

“I’m sorry!---” He starts he sounds too anxious. “I’ve never done something like this before..”

“Me either,” I say truthfully. 

He sighs, sounding relieved. “That’s--good,” 

I snort. 

 

“I mean not good!” He corrects. 

I roll my eyes. Flicking him on the nose. 

He frowns rubbing his nose. “Rude,” He mumbles. 

“Do you like it here?” I ask to clear the air. 

He hums in response, thinking. “I guess,” 

I raise my eyebrow quizzically. “You guess?” 

He sighs, leaving all his goofiness of before, “It’s better than being with my mother,” 

“But?” 

He rubs his face, “But, it’s weird, I don’t remember when my mom was ever this happy with my mother, and it just has me thinking too much.” 

I nod. “I get that.” 

“And they’re affectionate….” he adds quietly. 

I stare at him a moment waiting for him to go on. 

“I’ve never had that--but with you,” He finishes even quieter. 

I look at him shocked, he has his head lowered, eyes closed. 

That’s when my mind starts over thinking and I can’t get a coherent word out.

I never even thought of him not having that type of loving relationships with his parents because mine was is so built in. 

Even if I tried to pull away from them. 

I tap is his shoulder to get him to turn towards me, and I do something stupid and reckless, I hug him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! i hope you enjoyed and ill try to get another chapter up soon!!!!
> 
> I was just going to leave this chapter at "I take another deep breath opening the door." But I thought it would be too cruel. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	21. Summer, and Falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I figure it will be ending really soon, I don't want it too. But there's not much more I can do in this. It'll maybe have two more chapters, the last one will probably be longer than most.

Tsukishima

The hug was awkward and all weird angles. But it was worth it. In a sense. 

I lie there now, him lying on top of me it, it had been a half hour since I awkwardly hugged him. We were more relaxed now, him talking about living here quietly. 

I wasn’t taking much in, but it was comforting. It didn’t feel like months since we last lied together talking about unimportant things. All I could think of was where my body began and where is seamlessly started. 

I’d thought so many times of these very moments, and right now it didn’t seem like a freezing rainy November, it felt like summer again. 

Yamaguchi

All I could hear was the beating of his heart under my head, the steady rhythm, and how sometimes it would skip a beat. 

It was quiet but it didn’t feel silent. It felt like home. 

I never wanted to leave this feeling. I couldn’t dream of a better thing. 

I wasn’t speaking, and neither was he, just breathing, and being in the moment. In the second. 

I was scared to break it, I knew I needed to say something, to tell him how much he meant to me, but there weren’t any words that could describe. 

It felt like rain after only sun, it felt like jumping into cold water, it was something I’d never felt before. 

Maybe my mom had a word to describe how he felt Mao, it was perfect, three little words that fit it. 

I love her. 

 

Tsukishima kisses my forehead interrupting my train of thought. 

I feel my face warm. 

“What was that for?” I mumble into his neck. 

I feel him shrug. “I felt like it.” 

I kiss his neck to get him back. 

He makes a funny noise. “No fair.” 

“Yes, fair,” 

He flipped us over so I was laying down underneath him. 

I all I could do was make startled noise and kick him in the shin. 

He grumbles some. Kissing my nose. 

“Don’t.” 

He kissed my cheek, then my other one, then my forehead. 

“Stop,” I grumble, raising my voice, and trying to get away. 

“Nah,” He grabs my wrists. Kissing the bridge of my nose. Followed by my eyebrows. 

I whine. Trying to push him off, when he finally kisses my lips. 

Tsukishima

After that, he showed me to his room, where some of his paintings were. 

He’s sitting on the bed as I look at them, there’s only a few. One’s in mainly blue, with some brown, it’s interesting, the corners aren’t painted, just the center, in the middle it’s brown, changing slowly to deep blues, to light blues. 

I spend most of my time staring at that one, I can tell the silence is making Yamaguchi anxious. 

“I like the blue one,” I finish looking at them sitting next to him. 

Yamaguchi nods, doesn’t say anything more. 

“Are you happy to be painting again?” I ask, looking over at him. 

He shrugs. “I guess.” 

We sit there not saying anything or talking. 

I clear my throat, after a while, standing and taking his hand to lead him down the stairs. 

We sit down in the kitchen, I help him make us some tea. 

Drinking our tea not saying anything. When I decide to clear the air. 

“If you had the chance would you want to see again?” I ask. 

He doesn’t reply. 

 

The rest of our visit is spent listening to music, lying together, talking, kissing, being stupid. 

He doesn’t ever answer the question keeping it to himself. 

I forget about it by the time I leave, stating we won’t get together in another two months, it will be soon. 

He smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


	22. Tearing things apart, and rebuilding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont' know what happpenedd? ???

Tsukishima

The weeks following our meet up were normal. I went to school, ignored my brother best I could, and Yamaguchi and I sometimes talked on the phone. 

I made it through the dinner with my brother just barely. Ignoring most of his questions pointed at me. Leaving the table early, even when my mom sent me a nasty glare. 

Doesn’t really matter, he’ll be back in a few weeks on winter break, which is going to be the worst, because I can’t block him out with school work. I don’t tend to leave the house in winter break either. 

Hopefully, I can get away with leaving the house most of the time, to get away from everyone. 

School work at the moment is keeping me away from my parents. Yamaguchi will sometimes call when I’m doing homework, and put in his two cents about whatever I’m working on. Which isn’t much, because he finds most of it stupid and pointless. 

I hit my head on my desk a few times, ignoring the work I still have to get done, sighing loudly staring at my feet. 

A knock on the door, causing me to hit my head again on my desk. The door opens. 

“Hey, kid. That was your brother, we’re picking him up today,” My dad greets from the door. I don’t bother turning or picking up my head from where I’m resting. 

The door closes softly behind him, then there’s a comforting hand on my back. “Try to get along with your brother this time, I honestly don’t know what happened between you two, you used to be two….Of my favourite kids?” He finishes. 

“We’re not your favourite kids anymore?” 

“No!---I forgot the saying---This is not how you should talk to your parent,” 

“Goodbye, dad,” 

“See you in a bit, kiddo. Try.” He states leaving my room, with two more pats on my back before. 

The door closing loudly. 

I sit up, stretching my back. Fixing my glasses.  
Looking out the window in front of my desk, I see my dad’s car drive off towards the train station. The weather is rainy, the little snow on the ground a sloppy dirty mess already. It’ll be gone tomorrow. 

Standing, grabbing my sweater and headphones, I leave. Deciding I didn’t want to be here when they returned. I leave a note on the kitchen table, saying I’m out. And I’ll be back soon. I slip out the back down. Walking down the path, Akiteru and I used to take this dirt path when we were younger, we always ended up getting lost. 

I walk the path until I end up on the sidewalk, music playing loudly in my ears. I take out my phone, sending a text to Yamaguchi to meet me outside his place in twenty minutes. 

He responds a few minutes later saying he’ll be in the back on a bench.  
I send a quick okay putting my phone back in my pocket. It’s cold only in my hoodie, but getting my jacket seemed like too much thought. I would’ve changed my mind. This is stupid. 

Hell, I should turn back now, and call it all off and just deal when the time comes to be with my brother. I hadn’t been to Yamaguchi’s for a while. I needed to be around him. I still had a lot of homework to do. 

The rest of the walk is spent not thinking, before I know it I’m standing in front of the little house. I go off to the side, I try to push open the gate it doesn’t work. I jump over the gate almost falling instead of landing. 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I see Yamaguchi sitting on a bench under a little tree with frozen branches. He’s all bundled up in winter clothes but still looks to be shivering. 

“I’m here,” I announce as I get closer to the bench, hitting my head on some of the lower branches and casting snow on my head. 

I ruffle snow out of my hair putting up my hood and sitting down next to Yamaguchi on the little towel he has spread out on the bench. We’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, he leans on me a bit. Leeching off my heat. 

“Asshole, I’m cold too,” I grumble. 

He shrugs, I put my arm around him and he leans in more until his head is on my shoulder. 

“How long have you been sitting out here,” I ask looking at how red his nose and cheeks are. 

He hums softly. “A few hours.” 

“Hours?” I raise an eyebrow at that. 

“Yeah, I like the winter, it’s relaxing.” I nod trying to wrap my mind around someone wanting to sit outside. 

“We weren’t planning on meeting up today,” Yamaguchi mumbles. 

“Do you want me to leave.” He laughs softly at that. 

“I’m not complaining!” He lifts up his head off my shoulder. 

“Me either,” I grumble. Pushing his head to rest on my shoulder once more. 

 

\-----

Yamaguchi

When Tsukishima messaged me out of nowhere, I wasn’t caught off guard I had already been sitting outside for some time then. 

I was kinda out of it. My mom and Mao had left some time ago, doing Christmas shopping, knowing we’d be getting more snow later tonight. 

If he hadn’t messaged I would’ve probably lost track of time most likely freezing to death. 

“Is something wrong?” I ask him playing with his hands, they’re cold. 

I feel him shake his head, where it’s leaning on mine. 

“Don’t lie,” 

“My brother’s getting in tonight.” He manages to say without emotion in his voice. 

I stop for a moment taking it in, then continuing lining our hands together. His slightly bigger. 

“So…?” 

He sighs loudly, holding me closer like that will explain everything. “I don’t want to deal with him.” 

I nod, “I know, but how come?” This is one of the things that rarely came up in any of our conversions and if it was he would stray away with giving a straight answer.

He doesn’t answer for a few long minutes.

“There’s not much reason to it, he left for high school and didn’t come back. We drifted.”He says softly almost miss it. 

“It’s not his fault.” 

“I know, but he’s the only person I can blame it on.” 

“Try to work through it,” I whisper, leaning up and kissing his cheek. He kisses my lips. “I like you a lot,” I mutter against his lips. 

“I like you a lot, too” 

\----- 

Tsukishima

After getting a very cold Yamaguchi out of the cold, we sat and had hot chocolate, he asked me to talk about my brother, at first I didn’t say a lot, and changed the subject, we talked about it, well, I talked about it, and he listened, without interrupting. 

I headed back home when the sun was already setting. It was colder, Yamaguchi said I could stay for dinner, but I said I should be getting back before my mom started really freaking out.

I open the front door kicking off my shoes, taking in the warmth. Before I can run upstairs my mom comes rushing out of the dining room looking pissed.

Her eyes fill with concern before she can even start to go off. 

She puts her hands on my face, “You’re freezing, go shower before you freeze to death, or get sick. Now.” She said sternly putting her hands on her hips. 

I roll my eyes, walking past her and to the stairs. I put the water on as hot as it can go, shivering. I better not get fucking sick.

I watch and the mirror slowly steams up until I can’t see myself anymore. I take off my glasses. Stepping into the shower. 

Standing under the too hot spray. I stand there for a long while until everything feels numb, with my head leaning on the wall. 

I wash my hair and body, once it starts to burn. I turn down the water until it’s just warm. Sitting on the floor of the bathtub, I stare at the fuzzy ceiling. 

I don’t know how long I sit when the water turns cold I get out, grabbing my glasses, and heading to my room. Getting dressed in the warmest clothes I have. 

I lie back on my bed. 

I could go downstairs and face my mom to take what she has to say or I could stay up here and fall asleep, or do my homework. Just when I close my eyes there’s a knock on my door. 

“Yes?” 

My door creaks open, “Hey, it’s me.” Akiteru greets. I don’t open my eyes. 

“What do you want?” I ask harshly. 

“Hmmm...I wanted to talk to you,” 

“Okay, are you done?” I ask opening my eyes and sitting up, to see him standing awkwardly at my door. 

“Salty,” He laughs closing my door and sitting down on my desk chair. Spinning it until he’s facing me. “What happened?” He asks getting straight to the point. 

I raise an eyebrow, knowing what he’s asking but waiting for him to fill it in. 

I can hear Yamaguchi’s voice in the back of my head. Telling me to hear him out. 

“I know, I left, but… why did everything else fall apart,” He says quietly. 

I shrug trying to act nonchalant.

“Please talk to me,” He pleads, going to a new level of low. 

“Fine,” I snap, “You left, without even telling me, never tried to contact me. You hardly even contacted mom and dad. You left and everything fell apart. I know you didn’t go to “school” It was your last year, you were just done with us.” I say in one breath, too loudly. I take a deep breath glaring at him. 

He stares at me, smiling sadly. He gets up from my desk chair and sits next to me on my bed. 

“I’m sorry.” Is all he says. I can feel my eyes gathering tears in them. “I was stupid, and was only thinking of myself.” 

He hugs me, I hug him back….things aren’t finished. But we’re building it back to what it used to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was toughhhhh,,,,,, and there was a cat siitting on my lap for some of it that was a fun fact wit h mee thee boyy
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit


	23. One more time around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter, It's not as long as I wanted it or as good as I wanted it. there are time skips so if that's not your thing, I'm sorry, and it ends the way you wanted it too. 
> 
> I have been racking my mind since I knew it was coming up from an ending, but I couldn't think of something that would make sense. I knew I wanted things to end good, happy. I knew when I started this that I didn't want it to be one of those fics that the person with the disability to suddenly be able to see or walk again because they met the love of their lives. Your disability doesn't make you a burden, or unlovable.

Yamaguchi

My shaking didn’t seem to want to fade away anytime soon, it feels as if I can still hear her yelling in my ears, even with my head pressed against Tsukishima’s chest. His heart should be comforting, but all I do is shake more and grip tighter on his sweater, balled in my fist. 

His whispering in my ears sounds like its coming through a brick wall. My tears already dried, legs tangled together. 

Tsukishima breathing was normal, chest rising and falling. Hands running up and down my back, playing with my hair.

I don’t know what time it is, or how long we’ve been laying here. It felt like seconds, but from the way my tears stopped coming, it had been hours. 

 

Tsukishima

When I had gotten the call hours earlier I knew something was wrong, Yamaguchi had called, I was confused when all I heard on the other line was heavy breathing. By the time, Mao had spook into the phone I was already on the bus. 

She said that Yamaguchi needed me, she didn’t sound like herself either, voice too calm and serious for the normal Mao. 

When I had asked what was wrong, she said, Yamaguchi’s mother stopped by. 

I swore a few times, Mao laughed venom dripping in her voice when she spoke again, she finished with I know, saying she needed to get back to them and that Yamaguchi would be in his room, where he had locked himself after the little visit. 

Now here I am holding a shaking Yamaguchi, at least he wasn’t crying anymore. 

I was still pissed at his mother, she can’t just come here, and do these things. They had all moved on. Things were looking up. Yamaguchi was going to a therapist. Mao and Yuzuki were getting married in a year, and now everything was crashing down around them. 

“You doing okay?” I whisper when his eyes flutter open. 

He shakes his head, “No, but I can’t cry anymore,” He whispers into my neck. 

I nod, kissing his forehead. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, hands running through soft hair. 

“No. Is my mom okay?” He asks in turn, going to sit up I hold him in my arms tighter. 

“Mao’s got her,” I mumble. 

“I need to be with her,” He whimpers. 

“Ok,” I let him go. Watching him carefully as he stumbles out of the room. Keeping his hand on the walls. 

 

Yamaguchi

 

I knock on their door softly, hearing Mao whispers. Not enough to make out what she’s saying, but from the sound, it sounds like she’s comforting my mom. 

I push the door open. I walk straight ahead until my knees hit the end of the bed and crawl until I feel my mom’s hand on mine. I lay down beside her. 

I feel Mao touch my face, rubbing the tears off my cheeks. “Hey, Bub.” She says softly, her hands warm and small on my cheek. 

 

“Hi,” I muttered, holding my mom’s hand to my chest. 

“Are you ok?” I ask my mom.

“She’s ok,” Mao answers, a sad smile in her voice. “What about you?” 

I shrug. 

My mom hugs me then Mao does. I hug them both back. 

“I love you guys,” My mom whispers into my hair. 

“Love you too,” Mao states, making a loud kissy noise when she kisses my mom’s cheek.

“I love you guys too,” I whisper to both of them.  
<\----------------------->

Tsukishima

I’m awoken by Yamaguchi cuddling back up to my side. I wrap my arms around him pulling him flush to my side.

“Whoops,” 

“Whoops?” 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Yamaguchi laughs his breath warm on my neck. 

“Why are you awake anyway it’s like six am on a Sunday,” I mumble closing my eyes again.  
There’s another bit of laughter, “It’s ten on a Tuesday,” 

“A what?” I sit up too fast making, eyes snapping open. Making Yamaguchi almost fall on the floor.

“It’s summer you dumb dumb.”He mumbles hitting me on the chest.

“My dad still yells at me in the summer,” 

“You don’t live with your parents, you idiot. Lay down,” He grumbles smiling up at me, from his spot beside me. 

I lay down slowly, letting him rest his head on my chest once more. 

“What were you doing?” 

“Mum called,” He mumbles. 

“How’s Mao?” 

“Good, Mum said that she and mom should be back next week from London.” 

I nod, kissing his head. “Just checking you’re not lying and I don’t have uni today. 

“No, it’s the first day of summer vacation so shush, let sleep finals don’t like me,” Yamaguchi mutter snoring softly seconds later. 

←------------------->

 

“Hey, Yamaguchi can I kill my mother?” 

“Only if you want to go to jail,” 

“At this point, it’d be worth it,” 

“Hmmm?” 

“She keeps asking me about wedding stuff, and I keep telling her to call you, but she just says this how to do with colours, pictures. You’re the artist! How would I know!” 

“Gee, maybe it’s because you’re not blind,” He says, waving a hand in front of his face. 

“We all know you’re still better at it,” I mutter, kissing his lips lightly. 

“Awwee, sappy Tsuki!” 

“Shut it,” 

I go back to typing on my computer. Ever since we got engaged our mothers haven’t stopped freaking out about it. Well his mother’s and my parents, my dad’s very into weddings. 

We even said when we told them it would be a few years before we actually tied the knot because we had both just gotten out of uni. When it happened it was kind of an accident, to begin with. Yamaguchi had kind just asked randomly. 

“Tsukiiiii,” Yamaguchi called from where he was painting, on one of the walls, just off to the side of me. 

I hum, leaning against the not yet painted wall. 

“We could just elope and not tell our parents.” He states. 

I look at him raising an eyebrow, he’s sitting on the floor crisscross covered in paint. 

I shake my head, “My dad would kill me,” 

“I’d mourn you, but at least I’d be a widow.” 

“Awe, widow Tsukishima,”

“See! It has a nice ring to it.” He states smiling brightly. 

“I’m not risking dying at my father’s hand, you’ll have to suffer with Mr. and Mr. Tsukishima.” 

 

“Hmmm…..What about Mr. and Mr. Yamaguchi?” 

←------------------>

 

Yamaguchi

 

I hear Kei sigh coming out of our baby’s room our door closing softly as he joins me on the bed. 

“Baby’s are weird,” 

I turn off out tv pulling the covers up around me, “She better not wake up again,” 

“If not I will kill her, then you, then me.” He states, his glasses clinking when he sets them down on his bedside table. He puts his arms around me, nose pressing up against my neck. 

“You’re just upset because I was away,” 

“No, she just never sleep when I want too,” 

“Huh, really? It’s not because I was away for two weeks?” 

He kisses my neck, “Shush, let me sleep when she’s asleep,” 

“Next time she’s awake I’ll take her to the living room so you can sleep,” 

“Oh thank god,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhh thank you so much for sticking with me through all these months! I've loved writing this and reading your comments, they always make my day. I know I'm not that good of a writer, I'm not very good with descriptive words, or endings. Next thing I write is going to be even better. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading again, until another story-Denny.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I'd take a break from writing seeing as I just finished another fanfiction, but no, I have to go and start writing again. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know if there's are any grammar/spelling mistakes, so I can make it more enjoyable! 
> 
> Also, let me know if this is something you want to see more of!
> 
> Until next time-TooAceForThisShit.


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